Harvest time again. This time I grew two Timewrecks and one Cheesequake. Gotta love the names. Apparently everyone who is growing Timewreck really likes it. They both got bigger than the Cheese did - spikier colas. The Cheesequake was squattier.
Working with the plants now, stripping leaves before we cut the plants down and hang them, I can really see the wisdom of keeping the lower part of the plant cleaned up and free of small leaves and branches that will never see the light of day. All they end up being is a pain in the ass to deal with when trimming the bud. It's good for tincture and salves, but still, it's annoying.
The Cheese is more pungent than the Timewrecks. I like the smell of the Timewrecks better. I like delicate smells and the Cheese is gamey.
The plants began their lives under T5's during the cloning process. From there, I moved them under LED lighting for veg. Cannabis loves LED lighting for veg. At some point, sometimes they get so big that I have to put them under a bigger T5. When they were ready for flower, they went out to the tent and under two 600w HPS lights. I love tents for growing. They have cool openings for fans and ducting and the frame inside provides a place to hang everything from. They create an enclosed, controlled environment that the plants love.
I'll make oil from most of the harvest. Eventually, although I'll still make and use tincture, oil will be my primary medicine. Thank God for the wonderful Rick Simpson who came up with the recipe, because he continues to be my inspiration in my journey toward health. The girls are below..
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| Timewreck |
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| Cheesequake |
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| Timewreck |
Rick Perry is a shitty guy. He made the predictable, misogynistic response to Wendy Davis's filibuster of SB5. He's calling another special session next week to vote the anti-abortion bill into law. And it will be successful unless or until a court stops it.
You'd think a governor would have more dignity than to dismiss Senator Davis's graduation from Harvard as something she "managed" to do. Mr. Oops also suggested that as a child of a single mother, as well as a teenage mother herself, that she should understand this issue. And yet, he lamented, she doesn't.
Mr. Perry, you look small because you are small. Your condescension only demeans you. Watching all the people in the gallery that night stand in support of Wendy Davis and the women of Texas gives all of us hope that a voice of reason still exists in your state. It's sad that as governor, that doesn't apply to you.
Texas has joined other states that evidently believe that the Constitution really doesn't apply anymore. Abortion is constitutionally protected, yet, states are doing whatever they can to circumvent that. With the conservative activists on the Supreme Court, the Voting Rights Act was effectively gutted when they threw out Section 4. Now, voter ID laws are being implemented. In the case of Texas, that happened just hours after the decision was released. This disenfranchises minority voters the most. But that's not convenient for the conservative agenda. Whatever doesn't serve their needs, they just find a way around...until a court stops them.
The problem is, people suffer while conservatives do this dance. And women in particular will not forget what happens. Three words, Ricky: Governor Wendy Davis.
The Texas legislature is trying to ban abortion statewide with HB60. Extensive testimony was given last night until it was stopped. Rumor has it they may actually vote on Sunday. This is a travesty. It was stated that the testimony was stopped because it was "repetitive". Nice. They didn't want to hear any more personal stories. Because that's what they were. Personal stories that were no doubt difficult to tell, but necessary because no one is listening to us.
Who do these idiot men think they are? You misogynistic assholes make comments as we walk down the street that are unwelcome. You come into our workplaces and make comments that are unwelcome. You continually craft legislation that will make life difficult for us. And yes, that's unwelcome. You control us in our marriages and partnerships because you can't stand the fact that we can think for ourselves and God forbid if that means we disagree with you. Boy are we ever in trouble then! But you know what? We do disagree with you. Vehemently.
The Constitution says that we can have abortions if we want to have them. That doesn't mean that it's now time for states to decide how to circumvent the law and deny us what is our constitutionally protected right. You look like idiots. And women have had enough of idiots making their lives impossible and disrespecting their rights. I'd suggest that women in Texas speak up, but they tried that and were branded "repetitive".
I'm so sorry men didn't get the memo that we don't live in a patriarchal society. You don't own us. You never did. And you never will. Because eventually, life will get difficult for you. Trust me.
The Farm bill just failed in the House. Cue the Speaker is a Loser comments. But it needed to fail because of the cuts to food stamps that were also contained in the bill. The President had already threatened to veto it should it have arrived on his desk. Unfortunately, the Industrial Hemp amendment that was successfully added to the bill, by virtue of that placement, also went down in flames.
I have to wonder why they do things this way in Congress. They know full well that a bill isn't going anywhere, yet they attach other bills to it anyway. Do they think they deserve praise for this? My senator apparently blamed the hippie pot smokers for the last version not passing. I read an article where he seemed to suggest that there was confusion over the difference between industrial hemp and the demon weed. He seemed to suggest that most people believed they were indeed the same plant and that's why the bill failed. Oh right. He can open his mouth and have all that bullshit come out, but he can't open his mouth and educate his brethren about the differences? That was cheap and beneath you, sweetie. Don't do that anymore please. You know, because we all really like you.
Their work is supposed to be about the people. Instead it's about the drama.
I don't know how I feel about this classified document leaking that's been going on. Like most people, I really do want to know what nonsense my government is up to, but leaking can cause folks to die, so I'm conflicted. Anytime someone assumes he or she knows what's best for all, problems will no doubt occur.
Noble action aside, is all this more about the leaker than what's actually being leaked? I've given up being impressed by "I did it for you" because it's never about me. It's always about the choice the other guy makes. But will any of these revelations, be they from Bradley Manning or the new guy, Snowden, ultimately make our country safer? Or do they portend future leaks that won't serve anyone?
I agree that we need to know what our government is up to. Face it, they act with impunity anyway, so we have to know. The unrest in the world typically doesn't happen in a void, so as Americans, we need to know what's being done in our name. Manning is on trial as we speak. Snowden apparently left the country for China of all places. Somehow, I'm a little more on Bradley's side than Snowden's. Can't be noble and then leave town. It feels too hit and run for that.
We've had a long history of civil disobedience in this country. We were essentially founded on it. Of course progressive voices who dare to consider an alternative view of our role in the world are criticized as Socialists or Communists. As if the American experiment is the only correct way to live. Why is it that we fear the very thing that we are?
The United States of America. It's the unity part, folks, that makes us who we are. Yes, we have capitalism. We also have a social contract with each other that brings in a little of that..say it with me now..socialism. Nothing wrong with that. It's how we succeed as a people. Caring. That's at the heart of it all.
We're all connected. Just as the human body needs to work in harmony to grow and be healthy, so do we as a people. If our principles are lofty, then so will be our goals. Maybe we need activists like Manning to remind us of those principles and goals. The Snowden guy...I'm not so sure about him. I just get tired of the government trying on a daily basis to spin a tale that insults us all.
I used to try to find meaning in things that happened - like maybe there was an unseen hand at work and whatever happened was for a reason. But I realized the other day that I haven't done that in a while. I don't think I want to look too closely at anything right now. It's like when you almost get into a car accident that you just know you wouldn't have survived, and you go over it and over it in your mind. Then, when you've exhausted all possible outcomes, you come to the conclusion that obviously it wasn't your time. Anymore, all I can think of doing is saying, what was that for? What was the point of that? Or more simply...why? All I know is I haven't been able to come up with any answers and I'm tired of looking.
When everything is taken from you, how should you feel? What should you do? Is it time to reflect on how you view life? Is it time to re-evaluate your approach? Are there stages you go through, as in stages of grief? I've been watching the devastation on television from the tornadoes in the mid-west. Those folks lost everything. And yet, the resiliency of the human spirit prevails. The communities affected will come together and rebuild. They always do.
I had a conversation with a friend today about what's going on in our lives. His son is in prison for something he didn't do. I remember how helpless he and his wife felt at the time..still do, in fact. He said that he doesn't care about anything anymore..not his business, nothing. Because running the business was all about what he could leave for his son. And his son will be in prison for 25 years. So in four years, he wants to retire at 62 and maybe then try to deal with his broken heart.
His wife found a pastor who seems to say what they need to hear in the way they need to hear it. He's helped immeasurably with their frustration and grief. And fear. Fear catches up with a person when one least expects it. It hides and then bursts out when calm needs to prevail. The last couple of years have been impossible for them. All the plans they had..gone. Life has changed forever and nothing will ever be the same again.
It's that sameness that we depend on, I think. Although we expect there to be some amount of upheaval in our lives, we do better when things are calm.The upheaval so many are experiencing right now seems more extreme than normal. People have lost their jobs, their homes, and their dignity. Children aren't safe at school. The upheaval is permanent. It's not a moment in time that will subside. We anticipate a certain progression to life and for many of us life isn't exactly going as we thought it would.
The upheaval gives way to confusion. It's hard to know which way to turn because you're afraid of making things worse. My friend hired an attorney for his son who was supposed to be the best, but who turned out to be worthless. Would a public defender have been better? Would that person have provided his son with a better defense? When we received the letter that our commercial lease had been terminated, we were immediately in shock. We just stood there, knowing that our lives were about to become extremely unpleasant. We'd done nothing wrong to deserve this. We also knew that we didn't have enough money to both move our business to a new location and be able to make it through next winter when work would be scarce. Our motorcycle shop was seasonal in nature due to its location and we made our bank for the winter during the summer riding season. In view of our still depressed economy, it seemed likely that making it through next winter would be tough. So there we were. We rented space at a storage facility, and then bought a 40 foot container that we had delivered to our house. We're in the process of moving everything home now. Another friend said, now that you've had time to relax... Relax. Really? Technically we're still moving. Which we've been doing since the end of April.
As my friend and I both agreed, as much as we try to control the outcome, we're in control of nothing. We feel essentially adrift. What used to matter doesn't really exist anymore. Everything ended up being temporary. But then, maybe it always was. Maybe the key is to not get too heavily invested in any sort of outcome. Or maybe it's not to get distracted by bumps in the road. Either way, we each move about more carefully now. Life has become far too surreal not to.
His Holiness, the Dalai Lama says that the best way to be at peace is to help others. Our friends, who have every reason to hate the world and everyone in it for what happened to their son, have gone above and beyond to help us through this extraordinarily difficult time. We cherish them. And when it's all said and done, that's what I'll remember, and in turn, do for someone else.
Memorial Day weekend. It always rains. This weekend is no exception. So, I made some more oil. I have to say, I sleep so much better now that I'm taking oil in the evening.
I planted in the greenhouse this year. I've had a greenhouse for many years, but I've never really used it. My husband fixed it up a few years ago and was planting in it, but I was just too ill to do anything. Plus, I had to walk through pond water that leaks through just to get to the greenhouse. It smells. So that's not happening. This year, however, he built a walkway so that I can get there without it creeping me out. Now I just have to remember that I did all this and go out there every day and water everything. I used to grow huge gardens. I should be able to handle this. We'll see...
I'll either have enough for a salad at some point, or back to the produce department.
I bought a 40ft container to put the business in. We're finally starting to move things from the storage unit. The next thing is to finish up the inventory and then contact a liquidation company to deal with it. At some point, it will all be over. I guess then we'll be able to look at what's happened without all this other crap hanging over our heads. It will still suck. It's not easy losing a business at any time, but when it's imposed upon you, there's no real way to find closure. We didn't decide to retire. We didn't decide to end a business that wasn't successful. We just had no options going forward when our lease was terminated. You don't always win when you're in the right. Sometimes the really bad people win. And that's what happened to us. I'd like to think karma will get them in the end as they say, but I really don't have any faith in that, primarily because it never happens quickly enough for me to watch.
The Course in Miracles teaches that we give everything the meaning that it has. We can look at things any way we want to. It's a choice. I can choose to be angry about the circumstances of my life or I can choose to feel another way. Still working on that one, by the way. My husband wants to know what he's supposed to think about everything that's happened. He wants to know what he's supposed to learn from it. What was it all for? Twenty years of his life, in his estimation, was for nothing. So I had the talk about the difference between being focused on the goal or the process. Process-oriented people do better in life I think because they aren't concerned with outcomes, just the journey. That's the difference between us. And it's a significant difference. I will fare better with this adjustment than he will. He's focused on his life's work, which I can understand. For me, it's about who I am in this life, not what I do. As long as I'm learning, then everything's fine. I just want harmony. He's about extremes. And yes, it's been a bumpy 34 years.
Thank God for Weeds marathons.
