Surviving George Will

Well, George, I guess you've really stepped in it this time. Did you honestly think women wouldn't respond to your latest disgusting nonsense? Survivor privilege. Seriously? You really believe we've attained some sort of status when some asshole decides to rape us? We're ridiculed and chided for even suggesting the rape happened, and somehow this gives way to privilege? For whom? Certainly not for the survivor. You seem to be the one taking all the "privilege" here. Just who do you think you are? Don't bother answering; you've already tried to do that and insulted everyone in the process.

Since you clearly don't understand compassion, or anything else for that matter, maybe I can offer you a different perspective on this issue. While I was not raped during my college years, I was molested as a child by my father, so I knew from an early age that the world was a nightmare waiting to happen. But while I attended college, I fended off various advances, both verbal and physical, from other students, guys on the street, my professors, guys on the bus..you name it. And George, I began college when I was only sixteen. My age never mattered to anyone. So whose privilege was it again?

Prior to beginning the sixth grade, my family moved to Oregon. I was with my younger brother in the park one day and I was accosted by a boy from my school. He followed us around the park and I had a bad feeling the whole time. I knew he was going to do something, so we started heading for home. The next thing I knew, he had his arm around me and was pulling me away from my brother. The look on his face was startling. My brother was seven years younger and deaf, so there was no way I was letting this kid take me anywhere. I grabbed my brother's stocking hat off his head and hit the kid in the face with it. I screamed, "what's wrong with you!!" at him. And then the strangest thing happened. He had the audacity to look hurt. He never said one word to me and simply walked away. But in that moment, I understood why he did what he did. He actually believed he was entitled to do whatever he wanted to do. And it was clear that he thought I was punishing him by refusing his advances. Funny thing is, his name was George too. As was my abuser's middle name.

Is it that women are trying to better themselves by attending college that bothers you so much? Is that why they're fair game to you? Because what a privilege it must be to sit at your desk, or wherever it is that you sit when you write this crap, and spew out such disgusting and insulting nonsense. Is your heart that cold? You really only diminish yourself in the process. And then to double down when you're called out for the misogynist you clearly are? You're evidently among the privileged few who can do this and apparently not get fired for it, so whose privilege is it again?

We learn to fear men because of comments like yours. We learn that there is no safe harbor for us anywhere. Some of us learn that when we're so very young, as I did. How many of us grow up, attend college, and face the same danger there that we faced in our own homes? And how many of us would give anything for men to stand with us, stand up for us, protect us..instead of fearing something else entirely.

Misogynists like you, George, find justification in your words. Justification that will further on their boundary issues and bring untold fear into the lives of women who really don't want this experience that you seem so privileged to push on them. Because every time a survivor hears comments that demean or diminish what they went through, it chips away at our souls. It would be lovely it that weren't the case, but that's what happens. The dumbass making the comments feels just dandy, while we re-experience at least some part of the terror we felt during the crime committed against us. Yes, George, terror. It's as if we're transported back to the moment where everything changed. When it was decided by SOMEONE ELSE, that we were garbage and worth nothing. And try as we might, we can't consider the source because we are so broken inside..still. Long after it's done. Long after it's over. 

Survivor privilege. Oh, George, what it must be like to be you..

But Now is the Time We Need a Mom-in-Chief the Most..

Michelle Cottle wrote an article in Politico in which she said that Michelle Obama is a feminist's nightmare or something to that effect. Apparently, she expects more of our First Lady than being Mom-in-Chief. As if that's not enough. After all, she's Harvard-educated. She should be championing feminist issues.

She is.

Feminism is one of the most over-defined words that only puts pressure on women to be "something else". Who they are doesn't matter as long as they live up to some bizarre expectation or standard. And how is that different from living in a patriarchal society, where men decide everything for us? Why would we put that same pressure on other women? 

We need a Mom-in-Chief. We need a First Lady who showers everyone with hugs and positive energy. Our children are being murdered at schools, malls, neighborhoods, and homes. We need a Mom-in-Chief to hold us and cry with us. We know she understands our sorrow and grief. We feel her love and devotion as we stand here, in shock over the vitriolic discussion about gun control. How could this even be an issue? Of course we need gun control. But mostly, we just need to remember our purpose here. Because you see, it really is about the children. We give birth to them and then create a life that sustains them. But as we all see, that doesn't always happen. 

Dreamers need a Mom-in-Chief. She knows that family is everything and its preservation key to our survival. She understands the value of education and that it elevates our society. She, along with our Second Lady, supports veterans and their families, speaking out on the issues they face on a daily basis. She and students planted a garden at the White House, using it as a teachable moment. Can you imagine if everyone had even a small garden? What a wonderful skill to teach your children. But instead of everyone seeing value in the garden, the more small-minded of us saw this as a means of socialist control of people. Yes, they went there. And oh my goodness, the uproar over her focus on exercise was deafening. And yet, I walk eight miles a day. 

Michelle Obama understands that family is a microcosm of the rest of society. Elevate the family with such things as education, equal pay, marriage equality and we elevate society as a whole. This isn't a socialist concept. This the human condition. It's not an attack on our freedom. It's a suggestion for another, more healthy way to live. It's about balance...something that's lacking in this country.

I really take issue with women who try to define feminism for other women. Women make choices and should be supported, not derided, for those choices. I am a college graduate, but I chose to stay home with my boys for the first seven years. After that, I had various jobs, but none in my field. For that, I would have had to attend graduate school and that wasn't an option then. Instead, I focused on raising my children. Does that make me less of a feminist than someone who has a high-powered job somewhere? I don't think so. I made my choices. Isn't that partly what feminism is about? Not letting others define those choices for us? Why then would other women judge us so harshly for those choices? I'll leave that to Ms. Cottle to figure that one out.

I've owned two businesses, one a martial arts studio and the other an independent motorcycle shop. I faced misogyny in both. As a black belt, I was far more skilled than my students, but oftentimes it seemed as if my male students only respected me when they couldn't remember something. Then, I was important. Otherwise, not so much. They couldn't understand that their behavior affected their advancement and I had a vote in that. 

In the motorcycle shop, it was just us. No employees. So I had to learn all about Harleys in an instant. I became well-versed in how they worked, and what parts went on them. I estimated accident jobs, and put together bids for engine and performance work. Much to the chagrin of many of my male customers, I also did their fuel injection tuning. Yes, I made their bikes haul ass. Their conflict over it was hilarious. So I understand the whole guy thing. I owned two businesses that catered to the male ego..well the dojo was there to combat it, but still, that's what I dealt with.

The point of this is that it's not easy to be a woman in today's world. We make up the majority of the minimum wage workers in this country. And now we have to revisit reproductive rights issues that should have been put to rest long ago. The war on women is bad enough with women piling on as well.

So thank you to our wonderful First Lady for being there for us..setting that standard..showing everyone compassion and love. Ms. Cottle would do well to observe and then emulate.