A Great Teacher has Returned Home..

Yesterday was a big deal for two reasons:

Ken Wapnick passed yesterday. He was there from the beginning of A Course in Miracles. He knew Helen Schucman and William Thetford. Helen received the revelation and Bill transcribed it. Ken and his wife Gloria introduced the Course to the world. Although I have never met any of them, by making the Course available, my life was changed forever.

The other thing that happened yesterday was I finally finished the text of A Course In Miracles. It only took thirty years or so. I would only get through half of it and then I'd become sidetracked by life. I could have finished it Thursday, but I decided to wait. I didn't have any real reason for that, and when it only took a few minutes yesterday to finish, I was irritated at myself for slacking off. I thought, well this is fitting. It was then that I discovered Dr. Wapnick had died. And then I knew why I waited. What better tribute to pay to someone than to study a message he so selflessly spent his life sharing with all.

I believe strongly in synchronicity. It reflects the oneness that defines us all. The Course presents oneness as our reality. The world as we see it now is simply an elaborate illusion that we relive again and again until we don't need to anymore. It's a dream that we believe is reality. The Son looked away from the Father only for an instant. It was over and done with as soon as it happened. That notion alone can be a bridge too far for many. And yes, it defines the "Son" a little differently. Instead of an individual, the Son is all of us. However, I'm one of those out of the box thinkers so I was not deterred by any of that. The world had always seemed surreal at best anyway, so it essentially clarified things for me. I didn't realize back then that I was an empath, but it didn't stop me from functioning as one. So the Course seemed a natural extension to how I already experienced the world. 

As the cliche goes, we're spirit having a human experience. We are misdirected Thought in various stages of awakening from the dream. As the veil lifts, we awaken to the understanding that we are indeed home where our Creator has never left us. Sin, according to the Course, is of the world and is an illusion of our own making. Instead, it's error, which can always be forgiven. No one is condemned to hell. We are presented with continual opportunities to forgive instead of attacking each other. It's our choice what we do while we're here. When our bodies stop functioning, we remain as we always have been..in oneness with each other and in oneness with the Creator. It's odd we don't seem to embrace that while our bodies exist. We can see evidence of that everywhere. But when we do, there will be no further need for the world. 

In the last chapter of the text, the Course exhorts us to "choose once again". It reminds us that in every encounter we have the opportunity to choose to see holiness instead of sin, heaven instead of hell. We have the opportunity to choose forgiveness over attack. We can, indeed, choose once again. And as we do, we stay in the oneness, the Holy Instant, where time doesn't exist and love is all there is.

In honor of Ken, here are the last four paragraphs of the text:

Let us be glad that we can walk the world, and find so many chances to perceive another situation where God's gift can once again be recognized as ours! And thus will all the vestiges of hell, the secret sins and hidden hates be gone. And all the loveliness which they concealed appear like lawns of Heaven to our sight, to lift us high above the thorny roads we travelled on before  the Christ appeared. Hear me, my brothers, hear and join with me. God has ordained I cannot call in vain, and in His certainty I rest content. For you will hear, and you will choose again. And in this choice is everyone made free.

I thank You, Father, for these holy ones who are my brothers as they are Your Sons. My faith in them is Yours. I am as sure that they will come to me as You are sure of what they are, and will forever be. They will accept the gift I offer them, because You gave it me on their behalf. And as I would but do Your holy Will, so will they choose. And I give thanks for them. Salvation's song will echo through the world with every choice they make. For we are one in purpose, and the end of hell is near.

In joyous welcome is my hand outstretched to every brother who would join with me in reaching past temptation, and who looks with fixed determination toward the light that shines beyond in perfect constancy. Give me my own, for they belong to You. And can You fail in what is but Your Will? I give You thanks for what my brothers are. And as each one elects to join with me, the song of thanks from earth to Heaven grows from tiny scattered threads of melody to one inclusive chorus from a world redeemed from hell, and giving thanks to You.

And now we say "Amen." for Christ has come to dwell in the abode You set for Him before time was, in calm eternity. The journey closes, ending at the place where it began. No trace of it remains. Not one illusion is accorded faith, and not one spot of darkness still remains to hide the face of Christ from anyone. Thy Will is done, complete and perfectly, and all creation recognizes You, and knows You as the only Source it has. Clear in Your likeness does the light shine forth from everything that lives and moves in You. For we have reached where all of us are one, and we are home, where You would have us be. T-VIII. v.9-12 pp 668-69

Excerpt from A Course in Miracles. Combined Volume. 3rd Edition. Foundation for Inner Peace. 2007 

 

 

Today's Runecasting..Dagaz, Hagalaz, Uruz

In today’s runecasting, I cast  Dagaz, Hagalaz and Uruz. Dagaz suggests a shift in awareness or perspective, as well as increased growth. Hagalaz, a rune of transformation, illustrates that not everything is within our control and sometimes forces are at work that seem to destroy. But not all destruction is negative per se. Sometimes destruction is necessary so that new growth can take place.  Uruz suggests creation or rebirth, so it’s easy to see the message from the runecasting today.

All around us we see a quickening of the world. We’re seeing a shift in perspective take place. Oneness is our reality. Old beliefs are being cast aside, replaced by beliefs of inclusion. But the pull to remain the same, as evidenced in Hagalaz, is everywhere. We see it in our many conversations about how we can live together in love and unity.  We seem to be confused about our role in this life. Another child died in Colorado at the hand of her stepfather, a terrible accident to be sure..yet we haven’t yet agreed that we can stop this without losing who we are, when in fact, in doing so, we actually embrace who we are.  Our oneness. And that’s the rebirth Uruz suggests. A rebirth that will heal our world, filled with compassion, love and unity. A rebirth that will let us all remember that we are one family and that each of us is necessary.

The push toward progressive thinking, the new Pope's inclusive nature, the growing rejection of the surveillance state, the rejection of war, the outrage at how women are treated in this country and around the world, along with all the attitudes that strive to keep oppression in charge, all represent this conversation we're having. The push and pull of right thinking versus wrong thinking; of unity versus division are part of our rebirth as a loving creation.

We haven’t lost our way..we only forgot for a while.

The First Year in Review..

I started this blog one year ago today on the advice of my youngest son. He felt my Facebook page was too activist and I should have another, more appropriate place to express my views. I guess he didn't realize I could post everything I write here on my wall. In any event, I have to thank him because I really like my blog. I appreciate everyone who has read any of it. I named it Eternally Dazed and Confused because typically that's how I feel. I decided I would write about the things I care about..women's issues, the whole country is going down the crapper, medical cannabis, and things like that. Then came the more metaphysical stuff such as runecasting, The Course, and empath abilities. 

A year ago, I didn't know that four months later my business would end and our lives would be turned upside down. I also didn't know that ultimately, that would be a really great thing. I also would learn that I didn't have the friends I thought I had. That was far more difficult than losing the business. But it's always better to know the truth about things, and evidently their friendship was tied to our business and not to us. And that's okay. Things get confusing when your business is your life. And now that I'm happily unemployed, clarity has finally returned.

I've had time during this year to return to my study of A Course in Miracles. It's not that I stopped studying, I just didn't finish the text. So I, along with my husband, began the text again and I'm almost finished. He listened to the entire book on his IPod and is currently on his second time around. The Course is such a departure from how most people view themselves and the world around them, that it's a blessing that he has embraced it as I have. He might as well since he's been exposed to it for the last thirty years. It's nothing if not familiar.

Studying the Course has also helped me as an empath. Constant awareness of emotions surrounding me tends to leave me feeling drained. It would be nice if it were empowering, but it's not. The noise gets loud and I usually check out until it quiets down. From the Course, I realize that it's really a focus problem. I've always been too distracted by everything that goes on around me. It's sort of like going to a craft store. I have no idea where to start. Creative energy is everywhere and there's so much to look at! The only thing I can do is to start at one end and go through each aisle until I find what I came there for. Empaths are like kids in a candy store with energy. We absorb everything unless we shield ourselves from it. So over the last year, I have been learning how to shield myself more effectively. And that's been a lifesaver.

In July, my abuser died and his wife is now sending me the bills associated with his death. Although we've never met, she had decided that his ultimate victim should be responsible for everything. Nice lady. She apparently also tried to replace his name with her own on my brother's house, which he owned jointly with my brother. She also didn't tell us about a couple of related bank accounts, one of which, unbeknownst to me, I was an actual owner of, and the other we were both beneficiaries of. Unfortunately for her, however, when she alerted the bank of his death by cancelling our father's debit card, the bank contacted my brother to let him know the funds need dispersing. Having no idea what this was about, he contacted the wife and she went nuts.  Grandmaster Parker used to say something to the effect, "greed is the seed of destruction". He was right. It is. So the bills come. If they don't come directly from her, then I contact anyone I have to and explain the situation, and then threaten to sue them if they bother me again. Because after all, daughters who are molested by their fathers don't have to be responsible for the death bills. Wives are. Particularly in community property states. Which they lived in when he died. Women might want to think before marrying late in life. It's telling when daughters cut off contact with their fathers and no one will explain why.

All in all, even with the bumps in the road, the summer was awesome. I reconnected with my home, worked out in my greenhouse, did all the flood irrigation of our pasture, and I'm walking eight miles each day. Yes, eight. Four years ago, my RA had become so bad that I thought I would die. I was in what would become a year long flare. Half way through, I became a cannabis patient. January 2011 was the beginning of the end of my twelve year nightmare. I could barely walk during those years, making even going to the grocery store difficult. Excruciating pain 24/7 is exhausting, so to be able to walk eight miles a day is pretty cool. Unfortunately, Kenpo is another story. I have so much damage from the RA, that I find working out to be tricky, so that's going more slowly. The last thing I need to do is injure myself, but I've been a Black Belt for almost twenty-three years. And not being able to move like one for twelve of those years was devastating. Baby steps..

I hate platitudes, but the one about losing everything to find what you actually need is true. We all get so caught up in illusions that seem to drive our chaotic lives when we need to choose peace. We're only victims of our chaotic lives if we choose to be. We forget how much power we actually have to extend love and unity to others. Anything else doesn't deserve our attention at all..

Thanks for reading! Your comments are most welcome and so very appreciated!

Oneness and the Course..

I became a student of A Course in Miracles in the mid-eighties. I heard the name of the book and I knew it was real. Yes..I know..but empaths do that sort of thing. We just know. I have spent around thirty years of my life trying to complete it because it's required. I'd get through most of it, and then I'd become sidetracked by my ego and come back to it, sometimes years later. Once you know about it, you have to do it. No matter how long it takes. I drove my family nuts with all the "things only have the meaning you give them" comments. Although not a religion, it references Christian terms, but it's more than that. The Course redefined my understanding of God and myself in a way that I had never thought of before. Honestly, if everyone knew what the Course says, our view of religion would change completely. And it probably should given how people have used religion for their own nefarious purposes. Religion, in and of itself, is fine. It creates community and teaches people to be loving to each other. But as we all know, this can go awry and all kinds of destructive things can result. 

I've always been interested in the "how" of things. How is even more important to me than "why". So when it became clear to me from my study that oneness was more than just a spiritual concept, I was intrigued. And after you know that, just try and get mad at people. Go ahead..try to condemn them completely. Pretty soon, you start thinking about how they became so awful that they deserve your wrath in the first place. That gives way to, say it with me now, understanding. Anger gives way by then to forgiveness and pretty soon, not only can you not be mad at anyone, you actually find yourself becoming concerned about them instead of condemning them. How is that even possible when you felt so justified? Of course those who are immersed in their "me-ness" might have a problem with all of this, but separation, divisiveness, and disunity are at the root of the world's problems, so individuality be damned.

So back to the notion, we are one. What does that actually mean? I attended a lecture last May given by His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, where he affirmed this very premise. In my study of A Course in Miracles, I discovered that oneness actually exists on the metaphysical level. We are one, because we are one. We only look separate because we chose to be separate. The Sonship is actually all of us, as one. We are also one with the Holy Spirit, the Voice for the Creator, as well as with the Creator. We can choose to forgive (the Atonement) and return home, or delay that return by choosing the ego (body). We cannot choose both. It's either one or the other. We either choose oneness with the Creator (which is reality) or oneness with our ego (unreality). The Course says:

Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.

What an amazing concept! If true, then this world is an illusion and apparently only necessary so that we can forgive ourselves for separating from the Creator in the first place. We accomplish this by forgiving others. Since we're all one anyway, by forgiving others, we forgive ourselves. This is the miracle the Course speaks of. It brings love to each of us and undoes fear. It acknowledges the worth of all. Miracles are thoughts so loving that they heal involuntarily, apart from our own direction. True healing we leave to the Holy Spirit. All we're asked to do is to remember that we are one and as such cannot judge anyone. If we are indeed one, then any judgment we make of others is judgment upon ourselves. 

We blame and attack each other for problems that, more often than not, arise from our own perceptions. We make this stuff up out of whole cloth, creating drama in an effort to dominate others. Instead of understanding this is all a script that was written long ago that we come back here time and again to relive, we view what's happening as real. Except that drama is often threatening. And as we know from the aforementioned quote, if the drama was real, nothing about it can be threatening. In other words, if the drama were from the Creator, then it would be real and all-encompassing. Instead, it's from our minds. We create the mess that doesn't actually exist and if we only turned away from it, we would be fine. We would remember that we're part of something that is so much greater than anything we can conceive of here in this existence. We exist in peace and love. We can exist that way here by viewing everyone and everything as holy and engage in the Holy Instant with everyone, free from judgment, and full of love.

And that's not always easy, and we're always looking to see if forgiveness "took". Unfortunately, that's also judgment, and considered to be an attack upon the very person we're forgiving..as well as ourselves (that whole oneness thing again). And really, is there a choice to be made at all? We tell ourselves that there is, but there isn't if we want to live in truth. Life here in corporeal existence is hard. We dodge minefields everywhere. If we actually believed that we were part of a greater spirit that is complete love and joy, wouldn't we focus on that? Somehow, we've decided the world of the ego is more interesting, so we focus our efforts on building that world, instead of turning back to the only world that really exists..Heaven. 

All that happened was misdirected thought. When everyone understands this, this world will no longer exist because it won't need to. Learning will have been accomplished and oneness will again be all that is.

NOTE: Quotations are from A Course in Miracles. Foundation for Inner Peace. 2007.
Contact them at PO Box 598, Mill Valley, CA 94942 or on the web at www.acim.org

Shielding: Living in the Calm

As an empath, I absorb energy around me. Until yesterday, I have never been successful at controlling that. I found a great empath communitiy  and joined. I learned a couple of visualization techniques to shield myself from all the energy I absorb. One involves a symbol that I can use to remove excess energy that I have absorbed and another that involves visualizing my cells moving apart, creating space for the energy to slip past. Empaths must constantly clear this energy or life becomes extremely uncomfortable. Trust me on this. I'm 56 now. It took me this long to find out that I can actually control what happens to me.

Until yesterday, I never knew what true calm felt like. It's an amazing feeling. I envied others who could stay calm in difficult situations. Heck, I envied others who were calm in calm situations. Because it isn't always about the situation. Sometimes it's the other person. Empaths refer to these people as energy vampires, not because we actually think of them as vampiric in nature, but that being around them seems to actually drain us of our energy. Even thinking about them can do it, whether you're with them or not. I seem to be attracted to these people because my life is filled with them. Most of the time, they have no clue what effect they have on me, so it's not intentional on their part. We've all been around people that seem to project energy outward. We call them flighty, or intense, and they seem to raise the energy level in the room. Public speakers can be great at this. No one means to hurt me, but I'm affected anyway.

Sometimes I can ride the energy and it's positive. But mostly, it's confusing being so overwhelmed when nothing outward is actually happening. And now I have some tools to deal with all of it. I use the clearing tool to "clear a path" in large stores so that I can get through the moment quickly and get out of there. I've always done that without knowing I was doing it. Apparently it's another technique empaths find helpful. I'm sure most of us do thing to deal with this without even knowing we're doing it. So finding a community of empaths who know how to do these things is such a blessing.

Empaths with an extreme outward focus, as I have always been, don't take care of themselves. Their entire live is lived in service to others, forgetting themselves entirely. Well, not entirely, and that leads to depression. We can never get out of the trap we eternally find ourselves in because we don't understand that how we feel isn't our fault. It's no one else's either unless the person is doing something intentionally. We think we're insane, although we're completely sure we're not. But when your focus is external, you believe whatever others say about you. It's a response not reflective of truth.

I'm not going to tell any empaths out there what to do, but that link to that community is at the beginning of this post.. 

Life CAN be better..I promise..

UPDATE:  At the store today, I saw my former dentist who, after committing insurance fraud against me, wrote me a scathing two page letter excoriating me for refusing to continue using him as my dentist, and I walked right past him without feeling anything. Without shielding, I could have never done that..

Do humans answer the phone anymore?

Okay, I'll state for the sake of clarity, that I just got off the phone with Paypal. Now I'm sure they're very nice people and I know they serve a great purpose for many, and the woman I spoke with was very nice, but they use that computer generated response to phone calls that I find absolutely irritating. It takes forever to navigate through it in order that I can speak to a human being. By that time, I need to be taken away in a straight jacket. Because at that point, I'm willing to perform my entire black belt test on the next person I talk to. The whole thing. So, to save myself from arrest and incarceration, I guess I just won't use Paypal anymore. Call it the path of least resistance. Call it anything you want..but I surrender. I'm done.

Also, I'm a bit of a techie. I networked our house when the boys homeschooled. I bought them computers, and they both have college degrees in that field. They're also gainfully employed, which is a plus. So, I'm not a novice at "all things computer". I think some of these places put you into a continual loop so that you continue to use their service or product or whatever. I used to have a Pitney Bowes account at the business I owned. Never get one of those, by the way. It's not that the machines don't work..they do work. And they work well. I enjoyed mine while I had it, but then I wanted to get a Dymo Stamps account. It didn't have a rental fee or a monthly service fee, so I decided that would fit my needs better. So I called them one day and asked them to send me a box to return it to them. They didn't want me to use my own box. So, I called and talked to this ridiculous man who wouldn't let me close my account. I had to call several more people to make this happen. He took great delight at my confusion and would not let me close that account. Except that he did close it and didn't tell me so. I had to go through their maze to find someone who told me that it was taken care of and the box was on the way to me. When it got to me, it was practically destroyed. There was nothing in it, so it didn't survive the trip on the UPS truck. So, I taped it back together, put the postal machine in it, and sent it back. I never heard another word from them. I still have my Dymo Stamps account. Any time I need assistance, I can call them, get a human, and they help me with whatever I need. I highly recommend using them. I'll do anything not to have to go to the post office..

I love technology. I love computers. I love gadgets. I just don't like calling someone I do business with and having to navigate too many selections. I don't mind a voice that comes on to ask which department I want, but after that, knock it off. Get me to a real person. I can be done with my business so much more quickly than if I have to go from one place to another. US Bank does this well. And they stay on the line with me and introduce me to the next person I have to talk to. I like that. Sometimes they even will give me a phone number to call if something goes haywire just to get back to them so we can start over. That's all I ask. Just some respect. I'm more than happy to extend that to any of them. 

Okay, rant's over..thanks for listening.. and lots of hugs and love to Dymo Stamps and US Bank. You guys rock!

Sunday/December Runecasting 12/1/13

Nawthiz (need), Tiwaz (cosmic law), and Berkano (life force)

"Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing real exists. Herein lies the peace of God." ACIM

Today's runecasting is interesting. It speaks to some things I've been thinking about lately. Nawthiz refers to need or necessity. What do we actually need to exist in this life? We fill our minds with illusions of what we need, but actually, we need none of those things. We invent a life that is filled with chaos and judgement and forget that we are spirit incarnated here for such a short time. Since our true nature is one of spirit, and not of the body, we evidently get distracted and create whatever mess we choose. But choice has nothing to do with need and that's where the conflict arises. Need is defined by the Creator, not by us.

Tiwaz refers to basic or fundamental universal law. These are the truths that are defined by the Creator, or Source Energy. They are the basis for our moral compass that some in this life find so challenging. Tiwaz speaks of balance and justice, and sacrifice for the common good. It challenges us to engage in "right thinking" and reflects a universal set of truths or laws that govern everyone..even when we don't cooperate. The action is, in effect, to remain true to the blueprint given us by the Creator.

Berkano, or life force, represents birth, rebirth, emergence and sanctuary. Although typically I would interpret this as a rebirth of sorts, in light of the Course, it feels more like an emergence into the sanctuary of the higher self. It's like a clearing away of the mist that has been a veil before our vision for so long.

Only the needs of spirit are real..remaining focused on universal truth, nothing else matters..and in remembrance we emerge peacefully into the light.


You Sister In Oneness,

~ Jan