Well, cool. We're not going to bomb Syria. At least not yet. So that's something. Syria has apparently agreed to hand over their chemical weapons (we'll see). Russia is on board. And everyone on MSNBC seems reluctant to be happy. And what's with the yellow coffee cups on the table? They clash. Pick another color. It's interesting that a bunch of people (me included) seem to have become pundits about MSNBC hosts. Everyone's mad at Chris Matthews and Chris Hayes. I get why they're mad at Matthews. He's not making any sense. Chris Hayes tends to have people on that I don't care for. Rachel talks way too fast and crams too many words into a tiny space in time. I love her stories that tie past events into the present, but I wish she'd not repeat herself so much. And for heaven's sake, take a breath. Because I tend to hold mine while listening and I get lightheaded. Help a girl out here..
I like all of the hosts at MSNBC. And I won't stop watching their news shows in favor of any else. But sometimes it's just noise, and my feedly suffices.
Back to the Syria mess. The President is in a continual catch-22 with Congress. They want him to come to Congress for a resolution, then say they won't vote for it. Could they stop making all of us look foolish? Because the world is wondering why we continually elect these people who can't seem to put one foot in front of the other without checking to see if the President is doing the same. And oh my God, if he is, then they come to a full stop. Cue the outrage. Suddenly they're no longer interested in moving forward. Now that he's let you all off the hook for a bit on this Syria mess, how about voting on something other than repealing Obamacare. Because the country is beginning to see just how great it's going to be, and already is for that matter. I would have preferred single payer. I believe that will come. But this is fine for now. So stop it. Get to work doing something positive for the American people.
And if Michelle Bachmann, Louie Gohmert and Steve King leave the country again, please don't let them back in. Golden opportunity..just sayin'.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Friday, September 6, 2013
How About a Solution that Preserves Humanity This Time..
Evidently someone somewhere decided that there were some things that we as a people just wouldn't tolerate. Using chemical weapons on people is one of those things - that it's a bridge too far. But here's my problem with designating one weapon as intolerable and another not so much. They all kill. They all destroy. As a mother, if my child dies due to violence of some kind, I really don't want to debate whether or not we're going to get outraged over it because of what weapon was used. The only thing that matters at that point is that my child is dead.
I mean, I get why some folks in this country make that distinction. After all, in this country the average person can own an assault weapon normally reserved for the military or law enforcement thanks to our insane Congress and the Bush Administration. When the Assault Weapons Ban was ended, the free for all began and now the notion of gun control is anathema to many. I guess it's just way too cool to own really big guns. Just do a search on You Tube and you'll see all kinds of videos of folks enjoying their machine guns. And before everyone gets all crazy, I learned to shoot when I was a child, and I own guns. But although I've either owned guns or been around them all of my life, I just don't see the need to own anything automatic or semi-automatic. And I have no problem with the existence of our 2nd amendment. I think some people are confused about its interpretation, but that's okay. It's part of what makes living in this country interesting. We don't always agree. And we used to have spirited debate. Now we have name calling.
This civil war in Syria has been going on for a while now. I've heard that 100,000 people have died as a result. And now approximately 1400 people have died because of chemical weapons, over 400 of which were children. And everyone became outraged. As they should. But where was the outrage as 100,000 were killed? Why didn't the world stand up and intervene during all this time? Apparently two million Syrians are now refugees in neighboring countries. The humanitarian crisis this creates is devastating. I read that over half of the refugees are children. Where is our outrage for that?
I'm also tired of the whole "we can't be the world's policeman" meme. Sometimes we have to be the adult in the room. And sometimes that adult is a policeman. Deal with it. Having this so-called democracy has taught us a thing or two. And even though we probably shouldn't force democracy down other countries' throats, they really would do well to become one. It's not perfect, as we see on a daily basis, but it's better than what's happening in Syria.
And then there's the whole "we're guilty of the same thing" meme. Yes. We've been idiots too. That shouldn't stop us from trying to help people. Maybe we atone by doing the right thing.
But here's the thing. Surely there's something else to do here besides bombing the crap out of them. We already know too well how that tends to work out. You know...that whole human shield thing and all. Plus, doesn't that count as an act of war? We can call it a surgical strike, or a limited engagement, and get all freaked out at the thought of boots on the ground, but we all know what's going to happen here. Of course there will be boots on the ground. And it's not about regime change. Really? Of course we want regime change. You can't leave the idiot in power to do the same thing again. Because we all know that he will.
And how will we pay for it? The sequester is already making life difficult for the most vulnerable and the not so vulnerable. But we can go to war again? How? How can the government say to the American people that they have to wait a while longer for things to get better here? We all agree that chemical weapons are a bad thing that deserves a response. But so did everything else this idiot has done. And that's the point. We either value life or we don't. We can't decide that as long as mass deaths are caused by certain weapons, then we don't need to do anything. Not if we value life. Ideally, we should all rise up when injustice happens. But we don't. We look the other way all the time. It's not, as Congressman Grayson says, our problem.
Well, I disagree with the good Congressman. This is humanity's problem. And last time I looked, we're part of said humanity. However, it would be nice if, for once, we could come up with a response that doesn't involve killing more people. Because I think its preservation is far better than its destruction.
I mean, I get why some folks in this country make that distinction. After all, in this country the average person can own an assault weapon normally reserved for the military or law enforcement thanks to our insane Congress and the Bush Administration. When the Assault Weapons Ban was ended, the free for all began and now the notion of gun control is anathema to many. I guess it's just way too cool to own really big guns. Just do a search on You Tube and you'll see all kinds of videos of folks enjoying their machine guns. And before everyone gets all crazy, I learned to shoot when I was a child, and I own guns. But although I've either owned guns or been around them all of my life, I just don't see the need to own anything automatic or semi-automatic. And I have no problem with the existence of our 2nd amendment. I think some people are confused about its interpretation, but that's okay. It's part of what makes living in this country interesting. We don't always agree. And we used to have spirited debate. Now we have name calling.
This civil war in Syria has been going on for a while now. I've heard that 100,000 people have died as a result. And now approximately 1400 people have died because of chemical weapons, over 400 of which were children. And everyone became outraged. As they should. But where was the outrage as 100,000 were killed? Why didn't the world stand up and intervene during all this time? Apparently two million Syrians are now refugees in neighboring countries. The humanitarian crisis this creates is devastating. I read that over half of the refugees are children. Where is our outrage for that?
I'm also tired of the whole "we can't be the world's policeman" meme. Sometimes we have to be the adult in the room. And sometimes that adult is a policeman. Deal with it. Having this so-called democracy has taught us a thing or two. And even though we probably shouldn't force democracy down other countries' throats, they really would do well to become one. It's not perfect, as we see on a daily basis, but it's better than what's happening in Syria.
And then there's the whole "we're guilty of the same thing" meme. Yes. We've been idiots too. That shouldn't stop us from trying to help people. Maybe we atone by doing the right thing.
But here's the thing. Surely there's something else to do here besides bombing the crap out of them. We already know too well how that tends to work out. You know...that whole human shield thing and all. Plus, doesn't that count as an act of war? We can call it a surgical strike, or a limited engagement, and get all freaked out at the thought of boots on the ground, but we all know what's going to happen here. Of course there will be boots on the ground. And it's not about regime change. Really? Of course we want regime change. You can't leave the idiot in power to do the same thing again. Because we all know that he will.
And how will we pay for it? The sequester is already making life difficult for the most vulnerable and the not so vulnerable. But we can go to war again? How? How can the government say to the American people that they have to wait a while longer for things to get better here? We all agree that chemical weapons are a bad thing that deserves a response. But so did everything else this idiot has done. And that's the point. We either value life or we don't. We can't decide that as long as mass deaths are caused by certain weapons, then we don't need to do anything. Not if we value life. Ideally, we should all rise up when injustice happens. But we don't. We look the other way all the time. It's not, as Congressman Grayson says, our problem.
Well, I disagree with the good Congressman. This is humanity's problem. And last time I looked, we're part of said humanity. However, it would be nice if, for once, we could come up with a response that doesn't involve killing more people. Because I think its preservation is far better than its destruction.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
About that WaPo opinion piece...
An interesting opinion piece appeared in the Washington Post on August 30 by Betsy Karasik, a former lawyer. She was writing about her views on the Montana case where a teacher and student engaged in a supposedly consensual sexual relationship. The teenaged victim committed suicide in 2010, and the teacher was recently sentenced to 30 days in jail for what he did. My last blog post was my own response to the judge's ruling. I believe he should resign. He refuses to do so. So there you have it.
And now my attempt at highlighting and responding to what she wrote. Apologies if I screw up. I'm really trying to get this right. And I'll try not to let my own agenda make me snarky. Because I do have an agenda and I can get really snarky when I'm upset.
Ms. Karasik believes that not every sexual encounter between students and teachers should be called rape. She does believe that they should lose their jobs and not get them back until they can prove they are not going to engage in that type of behavior anymore. She believes that teenage girls think about sex as much or more as do boys at that age. She recounts how she knew people in high school and college who had sexual relationships with teachers and no one, as she put it, "died". She stated further that sexual contact between students and teachers is not so cut and dried as we'd like to believe and that viewing all of it the same way only creates further problems such as students being reluctant to report problems if all this drama results when they do. Although she does state that something has to happen to teachers who offend this way, the criminal justice system is not the place because it results in too much shame for the victim. She calls what happened, "underage sex" and draws a distinction between that and statutory rape.
Okay.
I was also a teenage girl. And yes, I was sexually active during high school. I was also attracted to various teachers in high school and college. And here's the thing about college. I was 16 when I began and 20 when I graduated. I did not act on my attraction to older guys in high school, but I did in college and one was a teacher, and the other was the head of the department. I agree with her assessment about those experiences not ruining my life, but did I do all that because I was ready, or because I was a survivor of sexual abuse? Do we know if the girl was a survivor before this happened? If she was, would this fact influence Ms. Karasik's view? If every child targeted by teachers were also survivors would it be okay to charge the teacher with rape then?
Okay, deep breath..
I didn't report what happened to me because I feared for my life. How does Ms. Karasik know that high school girls aren't facing the same thing with these so-called "consensual" relationships? And as far as calling this "underage sex", that was always reserved for kids..not kids and teachers. If it's an adult, it's not underage sex. It's an adult having sex with a child. I don't really care if we call it something else as long as the teacher does jail time for it. Rehab doesn't work for these people.
Ms. Karasik admonishes against painting situations like these with a broad brush, that not every encounter should be viewed the same way. I agree with her to a point. The problem I have with that view is she doesn't take into account the background of the girls who this happens to. What if these girls have already been abused and are only approaching these teachers because of their own boundary issues created from that abuse? I agree that high school girls are far more aware than even I was in the 70's, but still, they deserve protection from teachers who target and abuse them. Consent flies right out the window when it's someone not in your peer group. And if teachers can't figure this out, then they need to go away. Permanently. They should never be allowed to teach again.
Oh, and about that shame thing.. I know something about shame. I agree that the system makes things difficult if not impossible for victims. So change that. But to not incarcerate these idiots makes a mockery of what victims go through. And here's another thing about those of us who this happens to. Our views can change about the experience as we mature. We may be fine about it when it happens, but then later, as we become adults and mothers, we see just how risky it all was. And then we wish that teacher would have had cared enough to stop us instead of viewing it as playtime.
As far as something other than incarceration so that the victim isn't traumatized, I don't understand that at all. And the reference to religious leaders and politicians not keeping their pants on as justification for expecting the same from teachers is odd. Why appeal to the lowest common denominator? Why not use this as a teachable moment? If the teenage girl is upset that her "boyfriend" is being put in jail, then maybe it's time to explain what actually happened to her. That he's not her "boyfriend", but her teacher. That he used his position of authority and her youthful inexperience to fulfill his own needs. We shouldn't accept boundary violations from anyone. And we should never point the finger at all the problem children out there posing as adults to justify the rest of this nonsense. Just because someone else behaves badly, it now excuses everyone else's bad behavior? Really? We shouldn't have standards?
Maybe there should be a different set of laws when high school aged kids are involved. Maybe it should be, as Ms. Karasik suggests, more "nuanced". But we have to draw the line somewhere. Predators groom their victims. Teachers have the perfect opportunity to do this. I watched my father, my abuser, be inappropriate with my friends. He was a teacher. He had to leave his teaching position when dozens of letters from parents and students poured into the school district, complaining about his inappropriate comments and behavior. I have no idea if he put his hands on anyone because he never was arrested. He's dead now. So there's that. We're all safe now.
This is, in some ways, a complicated issue. But then, it's not. The saying is, between two consenting adults. It's not, between a consenting adult and a consenting child. A child cannot give consent. Ever. There are problems with the system, to be sure. But a child giving consent isn't one of them. We must protect our children. Incarcerating these predators is necessary. They won't stop, so we must stop them. There should be no exceptions to this. To feel sorry for the teacher in question is misplaced. He should have known better. He's an adult. She was 14. And now she's dead.
UPDATE: Jessica Valenti wrote an article in The Nation about this issue..well worth a read: http://www.thenation.com/blog/175991/acting-older-isnt-being-older-how-we-fail-young-rape-victims#
And now my attempt at highlighting and responding to what she wrote. Apologies if I screw up. I'm really trying to get this right. And I'll try not to let my own agenda make me snarky. Because I do have an agenda and I can get really snarky when I'm upset.
Ms. Karasik believes that not every sexual encounter between students and teachers should be called rape. She does believe that they should lose their jobs and not get them back until they can prove they are not going to engage in that type of behavior anymore. She believes that teenage girls think about sex as much or more as do boys at that age. She recounts how she knew people in high school and college who had sexual relationships with teachers and no one, as she put it, "died". She stated further that sexual contact between students and teachers is not so cut and dried as we'd like to believe and that viewing all of it the same way only creates further problems such as students being reluctant to report problems if all this drama results when they do. Although she does state that something has to happen to teachers who offend this way, the criminal justice system is not the place because it results in too much shame for the victim. She calls what happened, "underage sex" and draws a distinction between that and statutory rape.
Okay.
I was also a teenage girl. And yes, I was sexually active during high school. I was also attracted to various teachers in high school and college. And here's the thing about college. I was 16 when I began and 20 when I graduated. I did not act on my attraction to older guys in high school, but I did in college and one was a teacher, and the other was the head of the department. I agree with her assessment about those experiences not ruining my life, but did I do all that because I was ready, or because I was a survivor of sexual abuse? Do we know if the girl was a survivor before this happened? If she was, would this fact influence Ms. Karasik's view? If every child targeted by teachers were also survivors would it be okay to charge the teacher with rape then?
Okay, deep breath..
I didn't report what happened to me because I feared for my life. How does Ms. Karasik know that high school girls aren't facing the same thing with these so-called "consensual" relationships? And as far as calling this "underage sex", that was always reserved for kids..not kids and teachers. If it's an adult, it's not underage sex. It's an adult having sex with a child. I don't really care if we call it something else as long as the teacher does jail time for it. Rehab doesn't work for these people.
Ms. Karasik admonishes against painting situations like these with a broad brush, that not every encounter should be viewed the same way. I agree with her to a point. The problem I have with that view is she doesn't take into account the background of the girls who this happens to. What if these girls have already been abused and are only approaching these teachers because of their own boundary issues created from that abuse? I agree that high school girls are far more aware than even I was in the 70's, but still, they deserve protection from teachers who target and abuse them. Consent flies right out the window when it's someone not in your peer group. And if teachers can't figure this out, then they need to go away. Permanently. They should never be allowed to teach again.
Oh, and about that shame thing.. I know something about shame. I agree that the system makes things difficult if not impossible for victims. So change that. But to not incarcerate these idiots makes a mockery of what victims go through. And here's another thing about those of us who this happens to. Our views can change about the experience as we mature. We may be fine about it when it happens, but then later, as we become adults and mothers, we see just how risky it all was. And then we wish that teacher would have had cared enough to stop us instead of viewing it as playtime.
As far as something other than incarceration so that the victim isn't traumatized, I don't understand that at all. And the reference to religious leaders and politicians not keeping their pants on as justification for expecting the same from teachers is odd. Why appeal to the lowest common denominator? Why not use this as a teachable moment? If the teenage girl is upset that her "boyfriend" is being put in jail, then maybe it's time to explain what actually happened to her. That he's not her "boyfriend", but her teacher. That he used his position of authority and her youthful inexperience to fulfill his own needs. We shouldn't accept boundary violations from anyone. And we should never point the finger at all the problem children out there posing as adults to justify the rest of this nonsense. Just because someone else behaves badly, it now excuses everyone else's bad behavior? Really? We shouldn't have standards?
Maybe there should be a different set of laws when high school aged kids are involved. Maybe it should be, as Ms. Karasik suggests, more "nuanced". But we have to draw the line somewhere. Predators groom their victims. Teachers have the perfect opportunity to do this. I watched my father, my abuser, be inappropriate with my friends. He was a teacher. He had to leave his teaching position when dozens of letters from parents and students poured into the school district, complaining about his inappropriate comments and behavior. I have no idea if he put his hands on anyone because he never was arrested. He's dead now. So there's that. We're all safe now.
This is, in some ways, a complicated issue. But then, it's not. The saying is, between two consenting adults. It's not, between a consenting adult and a consenting child. A child cannot give consent. Ever. There are problems with the system, to be sure. But a child giving consent isn't one of them. We must protect our children. Incarcerating these predators is necessary. They won't stop, so we must stop them. There should be no exceptions to this. To feel sorry for the teacher in question is misplaced. He should have known better. He's an adult. She was 14. And now she's dead.
UPDATE: Jessica Valenti wrote an article in The Nation about this issue..well worth a read: http://www.thenation.com/blog/175991/acting-older-isnt-being-older-how-we-fail-young-rape-victims#
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Judge Baugh MUST resign.
I listened to Melissa Harris-Perry as she read her letter to G.Todd Baugh, the judge in Montana who stupidly blamed the 14 year old child for her teacher raping her. Although he subsequently apologized for his misogynistic statements, his apology appears to be falling on deaf ears. Instead of sentencing the rapist to a minimum of two years as the law provided, the rapist was ultimately given 30 days. Judge Baugh said that the teenager was "older than her chronological age" as justification when he sentenced her rapist to 15 years, and then suspended that to 30 days. Before she was 18, the child victim committed suicide.
As both an incest survivor and a mother, this makes me insane. Montana law states that anyone under the age of 16 cannot consent to sex with an adult. She was 14, for God's sake. How could she consent? She can't. And while the judge believes he should be, in his words, "chastised", he refuses to resign from the bench.
Judge Baugh's resignation should be the least of what happens to him. This girl committed suicide in 2010, after which the prosecutors said they would drop the charges if the rapist entered a treatment program. Treatment program. Right. Like that's going to help. Rehab has become the way criminals avoid incarceration. Go to rehab, avoid jail. What rehab exists for this child, or her family? What exists to help them avoid the pain and the permanent incarceration of their souls? The system failed them. The judge failed them. And an innocent child is dead.
We don't think right about sexual abuse and its consequences. The fact that the child committed suicide as a result of her abuse should have resulted in more jail time for her rapist, not less. Had she not taken her own life, her emotional and psychological future would still have been in jeopardy.
Any child who experiences sexual abuse has a difficult time in adulthood, no matter if she is believed or not, or has had therapy or not. It's the same thing as the PTSD our soldiers suffer from. I didn't go into therapy until I was 39 years old, after my mother died. I only told my husband and my boys a few years before that. Sexual assault destroys you. To live with that kind of fear, particularly when it's a parent responsible for the abuse, is beyond terrifying. I only began breathing easier on July 2nd of this year, when my father died. I'll be 56 in October and what he did to me has governed everything about me.
I have spent most of my life trying to survive in the midst of abuse reactions. First of all, I fear everything and everyone. I don't let on to anyone that I feel this way, but I do. Doesn't matter if anyone is doing anything wrong, there's still this underlying terror that sits inside me. And yes, it gets in the way. All the time.
I don't like it when anyone impedes me from doing something. Simple things, like my husband putting his arms around me while I'm doing the dishes for example can completely freak me out. Now that he knows what's going on, he tries not to do that anymore. Other survivors report the same thing. Never come up behind a survivor and prevent her escape. Most people never understand they're doing that because it's not their intention. But if you're standing between me and a way out, I become terrified. I can know with complete certainty that you're not doing anything to hurt me. It doesn't matter. I'm still terrified. But you won't know that.
Motherhood is interesting when you're a survivor. I tend to people-please and I never want to be in a position of not believing someone who is telling the truth. Enter my boys. Gifted and articulate, they could plead their cases with aplomb. So who to believe. Sometimes I would send both to their rooms, and then apologize for doing so. Fortunately, they didn't manipulate me during these times. They knew I was struggling.
There were times I couldn't answer the telephone when it was ringing (before caller ID), because I was terrified it would be my father. I would stand in front of the telephone, shaking, tears streaming down my face. Then one of the boys would approach me and ask if I wanted him to answer the phone. Sometimes I would let them, and sometimes I wouldn't. After all, I'm their mother. It's my job to protect them. It's not their job to protect me.
I finally told my father what I experience when I hear his voice. He called the business we owned at the time and although I was in a panic attack, I knew I had to speak to him. I took the phone from my husband and told my father just what I was feeling at that moment. I told him that whenever I hear his voice, I can't speak, I can't breathe, I feel like I'm going to die. I told him then that he cannot call me anymore. But that didn't stop him and his umpteenth wife from doing it again. That time, my husband spoke to my father's wife on the phone, and told her in no uncertain terms that he would not allow them to see me. That was several years ago.
Now that my abuser is dead, I'm safe. He had an arsenal and never let any of us forget that fact. But I can talk about it now without worrying what he will do to me. Cannabis helps with my PTSD issues and I'm glad Oregon is allowing that as a qualifying condition now. Survivors need access to something that's safe and effective when coping gets dicey. Believe me, our veterans are thrilled at this new policy change as well. They need it as much as we do.
Survivors just try to survive. That's what we do. It all may seem odd to someone who hasn't experienced this. People may think that since it's not happening anymore, we should just let it go. As if we could. When the judicial system in all its forms doesn't support us, then our last line of defense is gone. Judge Baugh can engage in all the revisionist history he wants. He can't un-ring that destructive bell. He can't bring back that child. He must atone. He must resign and take his good ol' boy attitude with him.
Here is Melissa's letter to the judge. And this is an article I read in Huffington Post.
UPDATE: This is a link to a Think Progress article talking about Judge Baugh reconsidering the 30 day sentence. "Judge Who Sentenced 14-Year-Old’s Rapist To 30 Days In Prison Decides This Sentence Was Illegal"
UPDATE: The predator is apparently going to be released today.. Just great.
As both an incest survivor and a mother, this makes me insane. Montana law states that anyone under the age of 16 cannot consent to sex with an adult. She was 14, for God's sake. How could she consent? She can't. And while the judge believes he should be, in his words, "chastised", he refuses to resign from the bench.
Judge Baugh's resignation should be the least of what happens to him. This girl committed suicide in 2010, after which the prosecutors said they would drop the charges if the rapist entered a treatment program. Treatment program. Right. Like that's going to help. Rehab has become the way criminals avoid incarceration. Go to rehab, avoid jail. What rehab exists for this child, or her family? What exists to help them avoid the pain and the permanent incarceration of their souls? The system failed them. The judge failed them. And an innocent child is dead.
We don't think right about sexual abuse and its consequences. The fact that the child committed suicide as a result of her abuse should have resulted in more jail time for her rapist, not less. Had she not taken her own life, her emotional and psychological future would still have been in jeopardy.
Any child who experiences sexual abuse has a difficult time in adulthood, no matter if she is believed or not, or has had therapy or not. It's the same thing as the PTSD our soldiers suffer from. I didn't go into therapy until I was 39 years old, after my mother died. I only told my husband and my boys a few years before that. Sexual assault destroys you. To live with that kind of fear, particularly when it's a parent responsible for the abuse, is beyond terrifying. I only began breathing easier on July 2nd of this year, when my father died. I'll be 56 in October and what he did to me has governed everything about me.
I have spent most of my life trying to survive in the midst of abuse reactions. First of all, I fear everything and everyone. I don't let on to anyone that I feel this way, but I do. Doesn't matter if anyone is doing anything wrong, there's still this underlying terror that sits inside me. And yes, it gets in the way. All the time.
I don't like it when anyone impedes me from doing something. Simple things, like my husband putting his arms around me while I'm doing the dishes for example can completely freak me out. Now that he knows what's going on, he tries not to do that anymore. Other survivors report the same thing. Never come up behind a survivor and prevent her escape. Most people never understand they're doing that because it's not their intention. But if you're standing between me and a way out, I become terrified. I can know with complete certainty that you're not doing anything to hurt me. It doesn't matter. I'm still terrified. But you won't know that.
Motherhood is interesting when you're a survivor. I tend to people-please and I never want to be in a position of not believing someone who is telling the truth. Enter my boys. Gifted and articulate, they could plead their cases with aplomb. So who to believe. Sometimes I would send both to their rooms, and then apologize for doing so. Fortunately, they didn't manipulate me during these times. They knew I was struggling.
There were times I couldn't answer the telephone when it was ringing (before caller ID), because I was terrified it would be my father. I would stand in front of the telephone, shaking, tears streaming down my face. Then one of the boys would approach me and ask if I wanted him to answer the phone. Sometimes I would let them, and sometimes I wouldn't. After all, I'm their mother. It's my job to protect them. It's not their job to protect me.
I finally told my father what I experience when I hear his voice. He called the business we owned at the time and although I was in a panic attack, I knew I had to speak to him. I took the phone from my husband and told my father just what I was feeling at that moment. I told him that whenever I hear his voice, I can't speak, I can't breathe, I feel like I'm going to die. I told him then that he cannot call me anymore. But that didn't stop him and his umpteenth wife from doing it again. That time, my husband spoke to my father's wife on the phone, and told her in no uncertain terms that he would not allow them to see me. That was several years ago.
Now that my abuser is dead, I'm safe. He had an arsenal and never let any of us forget that fact. But I can talk about it now without worrying what he will do to me. Cannabis helps with my PTSD issues and I'm glad Oregon is allowing that as a qualifying condition now. Survivors need access to something that's safe and effective when coping gets dicey. Believe me, our veterans are thrilled at this new policy change as well. They need it as much as we do.
Survivors just try to survive. That's what we do. It all may seem odd to someone who hasn't experienced this. People may think that since it's not happening anymore, we should just let it go. As if we could. When the judicial system in all its forms doesn't support us, then our last line of defense is gone. Judge Baugh can engage in all the revisionist history he wants. He can't un-ring that destructive bell. He can't bring back that child. He must atone. He must resign and take his good ol' boy attitude with him.
Here is Melissa's letter to the judge. And this is an article I read in Huffington Post.
UPDATE: This is a link to a Think Progress article talking about Judge Baugh reconsidering the 30 day sentence. "Judge Who Sentenced 14-Year-Old’s Rapist To 30 Days In Prison Decides This Sentence Was Illegal"
UPDATE: The predator is apparently going to be released today.. Just great.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Did we just open the door to legalization?
Attorney General Eric Holder announced today that as long as states don't let it be a free for all, they can move forward on recreational use of cannabis. And apparently, this applies to the states with legal medical cannabis as well. Now that we have legalized dispensaries here in Oregon, and reduced cannabis to a Schedule 2, it will be interesting to see how all of this unfolds.
It certainly feels like we're on the path to full legalization. I've never understood how it could be prohibited on a lie in the first place. Especially considering how many lives have been ruined by incarcerating folks for using a completely safe plant to feel better - either medicinally or recreationally. What difference does it make which it is?
But then we've been led astray before, and I suppose that we'll have to wait and see just how far-reaching this is. Will it stop the court case involving an Anaheim landlord and the DEA in which the DEA wants to seize the building owned by the landlord because he had a tenant there with a dispensary? I read that the building is worth 1.5 million so is that what this is about? Money? What about the fact that it's legal in California for dispensaries to exist? Will they finally leave Harborside alone? After all, Oakland wants them there. Will this result in releasing the people in jail for cannabis? It should. Will the raids on the legal dispensaries stop now? Was it the fact that Senator Leahy decided to hold hearings next week in the Judiciary Committee to ask why state laws aren't being respected that this response happened today? I mean, I don't really care as long as this is the real deal.
I don't know, but things do feel different. Watching the Let Freedom Ring event yesterday in Washington DC commemorating the March on Washington as well as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. gave me hope for the future. It seems like people are getting really tired of the nonsense that's been going on. It's all about oppression in one fashion or another. Doesn't matter if it's cannabis laws, the Voting Rights Act, the Keystone XL Pipeline, Wall Street and the economy, Congress, the Violence Against Women's Act, SNAP, Meals On Wheels, Head Start, or anything else. We want to be treated with respect and dignity by our government. We want law enforcement to stop behaving like thugs. We want Congress to do it's job. We want this ridiculous sequester to stop so that necessary programs such as SNAP, Meals On Wheel, and Head Start are fully funded. It's okay to care about the American people. You're supposed to. You can't create the current situation and then walk away from your responsibilities.
And your primary responsibility is to tell us the truth. Always. The last thing any of us should fear is following our state laws. Because that's what cannabis patients fear. We follow our state laws and then we go to jail anyway, or the dispensary owners have their businesses raided. Or our children are taken from us. I hope this new understanding stops all of this from happening in the future. It's like that doctrine of clean hands idea. If you can't come into court to sue someone when your own participation in the situation is less than legal, then how can the government prohibit something it's lying about and then incarcerate its citizenry for knowing the truth and using it anyway?
It would be one thing if cannabis killed people. I know the government likes to say it does all kinds of horrible things, but it's simply not true. But if it were that bad, then prohibition would make sense. We have all kinds of laws on the books protecting consumers from businesses that essentially lie to them about their products. If it's against the law to scam people in business, why isn't lying to the American people about cannabis? Surely we can all agree that we've been scammed all this time. If anyone doesn't agree, better watch Sanjay Gupta's special again.
All we're asking for is for the truth about cannabis to be common knowledge. I attended the Seattle Hempfest this year and listened to a panel of doctors talk about the efficacy of cannabis in the treatment of pretty much everything. Dr. William Courtney went on and on about the benefits of daily raw cannabis in one's diet. He fervently believes that it should be a regular part of our diet. And given all of the environmental concerns we face, cannabis can protect and heal us.
The federal government never should have allowed this state/federal conflict to exist in the first place. As soon as decriminalization efforts began, followed by medicinal cannabis laws, the federal government should have eliminated the conflict so that state laws would be respected. To let it go on this long is abuse. The federal government needs to own what they did to all of us.
So there you have it...
It certainly feels like we're on the path to full legalization. I've never understood how it could be prohibited on a lie in the first place. Especially considering how many lives have been ruined by incarcerating folks for using a completely safe plant to feel better - either medicinally or recreationally. What difference does it make which it is?
But then we've been led astray before, and I suppose that we'll have to wait and see just how far-reaching this is. Will it stop the court case involving an Anaheim landlord and the DEA in which the DEA wants to seize the building owned by the landlord because he had a tenant there with a dispensary? I read that the building is worth 1.5 million so is that what this is about? Money? What about the fact that it's legal in California for dispensaries to exist? Will they finally leave Harborside alone? After all, Oakland wants them there. Will this result in releasing the people in jail for cannabis? It should. Will the raids on the legal dispensaries stop now? Was it the fact that Senator Leahy decided to hold hearings next week in the Judiciary Committee to ask why state laws aren't being respected that this response happened today? I mean, I don't really care as long as this is the real deal.
I don't know, but things do feel different. Watching the Let Freedom Ring event yesterday in Washington DC commemorating the March on Washington as well as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. gave me hope for the future. It seems like people are getting really tired of the nonsense that's been going on. It's all about oppression in one fashion or another. Doesn't matter if it's cannabis laws, the Voting Rights Act, the Keystone XL Pipeline, Wall Street and the economy, Congress, the Violence Against Women's Act, SNAP, Meals On Wheels, Head Start, or anything else. We want to be treated with respect and dignity by our government. We want law enforcement to stop behaving like thugs. We want Congress to do it's job. We want this ridiculous sequester to stop so that necessary programs such as SNAP, Meals On Wheel, and Head Start are fully funded. It's okay to care about the American people. You're supposed to. You can't create the current situation and then walk away from your responsibilities.
And your primary responsibility is to tell us the truth. Always. The last thing any of us should fear is following our state laws. Because that's what cannabis patients fear. We follow our state laws and then we go to jail anyway, or the dispensary owners have their businesses raided. Or our children are taken from us. I hope this new understanding stops all of this from happening in the future. It's like that doctrine of clean hands idea. If you can't come into court to sue someone when your own participation in the situation is less than legal, then how can the government prohibit something it's lying about and then incarcerate its citizenry for knowing the truth and using it anyway?
It would be one thing if cannabis killed people. I know the government likes to say it does all kinds of horrible things, but it's simply not true. But if it were that bad, then prohibition would make sense. We have all kinds of laws on the books protecting consumers from businesses that essentially lie to them about their products. If it's against the law to scam people in business, why isn't lying to the American people about cannabis? Surely we can all agree that we've been scammed all this time. If anyone doesn't agree, better watch Sanjay Gupta's special again.
All we're asking for is for the truth about cannabis to be common knowledge. I attended the Seattle Hempfest this year and listened to a panel of doctors talk about the efficacy of cannabis in the treatment of pretty much everything. Dr. William Courtney went on and on about the benefits of daily raw cannabis in one's diet. He fervently believes that it should be a regular part of our diet. And given all of the environmental concerns we face, cannabis can protect and heal us.
The federal government never should have allowed this state/federal conflict to exist in the first place. As soon as decriminalization efforts began, followed by medicinal cannabis laws, the federal government should have eliminated the conflict so that state laws would be respected. To let it go on this long is abuse. The federal government needs to own what they did to all of us.
So there you have it...
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
At the Portland VA yesterday...
So my husband had a root canal scheduled yesterday at the Portland VA Hospital. He's a disabled VietNam vet and the VA takes care of him. I know all the problems that exist with the Veteran's Administration, particularly now, but in my husband's case, his care has been pretty good. We left before we were supposed to one time, and the eye doctor he was seeing actually called us while we were driving down I5 (we were taking our youngest son at OSU out to lunch). Although we really felt foolish, we didn't go back that day. But the doctor was concerned, so he called. I thought that was really nice of him. Now there's an eye clinic in Bend so we don't have to drive all the way to Portland for that. We only do it for the dentist. But that wasn't always the case. In the beginning, he had to go there for everything. Then, the VA decided that they would pay private doctors over in our area to treat disabled vets. That worked okay, but the payment was less than doctors typically charged and not all would take a vet as a patient. Then a miracle happened! The VA opened a clinic in Bend.
Awesome! Except it doesn't have dental yet. But we're hopeful. And recently, they moved to a larger space which is really nice. The staff is really great and I know Jerry appreciates everything they do for him there.
So back to the Portland VA Hospital. It has become such a welcoming place. I have to say that years ago, like in the 80's, I didn't have that feeling. I think it was last year or so that we walked in the front door and were greeted by some delightful nursing students who asked if Jerry had had his flu shot yet. He said no, and they took him over to the flu shot table and he got his flu shot. Everyone in the lobby was in such a great mood. People were visiting with one another, smiling and laughing. It was wonderful there that day.
But then, other than parking, we usually have a positive experience at the VA hospital. The food in the hospital cafeteria is basically okay, because after all it is cafeteria food. The hospital staff treat everyone with respect and dignity. The dental folks are awesome. The eye doctors he has seen there are also great.
But I do know "nightmare" and "VA" go hand in hand. It took years for us to have medical insurance for me and the boys - not because it wasn't available, but because no one at the time could figure out which section we belonged in. Finally a very nice woman in Salem took care of everything and we finally had insurance. But we didn't when my youngest was born and since both boys were C-sections, we had to pay out of pocket for him. We sold the truck to pay off the last $400 we owed on our beloved child. Of course, had we had insurance then, we'd probably still have that damn truck. It was an International. I hated it. So there's that.
The VA has a backlog that is ridiculous and destructive. And shameful (thank you, Bush administration). It's taking far too long to get benefits established and care given. Every time I hear about a veteran not getting the care that he or she deserves and needs, I know that it's happening because our government has made that choice. I've seen the VA work the way it's supposed to work. These people work hard and care about the veterans they serve. Given the opportunity, they would gladly meet and/or exceed the needs of our veterans. But they can't do it without funding.
Our government has some interesting priorities. They take us into war on a lie. They don't give our troops the equipment or body armor that they need to stay safe. In a cavalier fashion, they take away our civil rights in order that our "freedom" is preserved. That's hilarious. And then they don't take proper care of our veterans when they return home. And this time, we didn't even have a draft. These people defended our country without being forced to do so. Our first priority should be their care. They risked everything. Everything.
And to our government: please don't go to war again. You clearly don't understand your responsibility for those who do your bidding. And I'll just bet that when you finally do, we'll never go to war again. And pull your collective heads out of your collective asses and fix the backlog. Don't leave these people hanging while you try to repeal Obamacare one more time. Or whatever it is you idiots do to not earn your paychecks.
Awesome! Except it doesn't have dental yet. But we're hopeful. And recently, they moved to a larger space which is really nice. The staff is really great and I know Jerry appreciates everything they do for him there.
So back to the Portland VA Hospital. It has become such a welcoming place. I have to say that years ago, like in the 80's, I didn't have that feeling. I think it was last year or so that we walked in the front door and were greeted by some delightful nursing students who asked if Jerry had had his flu shot yet. He said no, and they took him over to the flu shot table and he got his flu shot. Everyone in the lobby was in such a great mood. People were visiting with one another, smiling and laughing. It was wonderful there that day.
But then, other than parking, we usually have a positive experience at the VA hospital. The food in the hospital cafeteria is basically okay, because after all it is cafeteria food. The hospital staff treat everyone with respect and dignity. The dental folks are awesome. The eye doctors he has seen there are also great.
But I do know "nightmare" and "VA" go hand in hand. It took years for us to have medical insurance for me and the boys - not because it wasn't available, but because no one at the time could figure out which section we belonged in. Finally a very nice woman in Salem took care of everything and we finally had insurance. But we didn't when my youngest was born and since both boys were C-sections, we had to pay out of pocket for him. We sold the truck to pay off the last $400 we owed on our beloved child. Of course, had we had insurance then, we'd probably still have that damn truck. It was an International. I hated it. So there's that.
The VA has a backlog that is ridiculous and destructive. And shameful (thank you, Bush administration). It's taking far too long to get benefits established and care given. Every time I hear about a veteran not getting the care that he or she deserves and needs, I know that it's happening because our government has made that choice. I've seen the VA work the way it's supposed to work. These people work hard and care about the veterans they serve. Given the opportunity, they would gladly meet and/or exceed the needs of our veterans. But they can't do it without funding.
Our government has some interesting priorities. They take us into war on a lie. They don't give our troops the equipment or body armor that they need to stay safe. In a cavalier fashion, they take away our civil rights in order that our "freedom" is preserved. That's hilarious. And then they don't take proper care of our veterans when they return home. And this time, we didn't even have a draft. These people defended our country without being forced to do so. Our first priority should be their care. They risked everything. Everything.
And to our government: please don't go to war again. You clearly don't understand your responsibility for those who do your bidding. And I'll just bet that when you finally do, we'll never go to war again. And pull your collective heads out of your collective asses and fix the backlog. Don't leave these people hanging while you try to repeal Obamacare one more time. Or whatever it is you idiots do to not earn your paychecks.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Hempfest 2013 - Saturday
What a happy place! I've never seen so many smiling faces in one place, ever. We couldn't have had a better time. We walked down to Seeley and listened to Tribal Voices. They said they've been opening Hempfest on Saturday for the last 17 years.
We listened to great panels in the Hemposium. I got a picture of Jerry meeting Jorge Cervantes after the panel on growing. What a nice man! And so very knowledgeable about growing cannabis.
We had a wonderful conversation with a lovely Tibetan man who also attended His Holiness the Dalai Lama's lecture in May. We each shared our impressions of His Holiness and agreed that we each left the lecture changed somehow. The feeling we experienced has continued to stay with each of us. I felt elevated just speaking with him. It was a lovely way to begin the day.
The panels were great. First up..the cannabis lawyers. I love those guys. They don't mince words and are extremely helpful. There was a Knowledge Tent in front of Hemposium and after each panel finished, they went out to the tent to answer questions. The Know Your Rights panel was comprised of Aaron Pelley, Jeff Steinborn, Kurt Boehl, and Douglas Hiatt. The consensus of opinion of the panel was to remain silent - cooperative - but silent when contacted by the police. Steinborn's basic premise was to break only one law at a time. It was fascinating to listen to these guys.
The doctors were next. Dr. David Bearman, Dr. Jake Felice, Dr, David Ostrow, and Dr. William Courtney. They covered several issues, but the one that kept coming up was the efficacy of higher CBD varieties in treating basically everything. Breeding higher CBD varieties as opposed to higher THC varieties produce plants with less psychoactive ability than their typical counterparts. Dr. Felice uses cannabis in his medical practice and discussed that various CBD components are effective in the treatment of diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, chronic pain, muscle spasms, inflammatory conditions, immune system problems, anxiety and yes, more. Dr. Courtney stressed the importance of daily raw ingestion of cannabis for everyone, including children. He recommended that the leaf not be harvested after the third month as its potency declines after that. He spoke about CBD Acid, which he called a stunning gift. He noted that in a study done with mice, researchers saw a drop in diabetes from 86% to 28% with the introduction of cannabidiol. It helped with optic neuropathy and insulin resistance. It's effective in both prevention and in repairing the damage that results. Dr. Bearman spoke about cardiac patients who experience 30 point drop in the blood pressure when on cannabis. This was an unbelievably important panel discussion. This is the kind of information people need to illustrate what a incredibly healing plant this is and how ridiculous our government's stance is on it. For the love of God, cannabis cures cancer. It controls severe epilepsy. It connects autistic children with their families. It saves childrens' lives. We need this kind of honest conversation. We need these facts.
The next panel we heard were the growers. Okay, we tend to worship these people. Jorge Cervantes was on the panel, as was Josh Rettie, Stinkbud, and DJ Short. Jorge is Jorge - enough said there. Josh Rettie, I believe, is from Washington. Stinkbud has a medical cooperative and does some cool stuff with aeroponic growing. In response to a question on light time for flowering, DJ Short shared a great tip. He recommended 11 hours on, 13 off. This produces more bud than the traditional 12/12 configuration. He also recommended switching that 13 on/11 off for veg. They talked about not keeping mother plants around too long, which is true. They lose their vigor after a while. It's better to rotate them out. Stinkbud indicated that his yields with hydro are far greater, but that there's nothing like growing in soil, particularly outside. Jorge felt that greenhouses were useful as well, especially when considering protection of the plants.
I have to say, I wasn't sure I wanted to return this year to Hempfest. Last year was hot and I got a blister on the bottom of my foot..the first day. It was horrible. But I persevered. And in view of the successful legalization efforts last year in Washington, I thought it would be fun. And it has been. Oregon just legalized dispensaries. We've already rescheduled it to a 2. Sure would be nice if we'd legalize it completely.
Instead of Hempfest, it should have been called LoveFest, because love for this plant was everywhere. Or I was high. In any event, have a happy, hempy day!
 |
| Jerry and Jorge Cervantes |
 |
| Tribal Voices |
We listened to great panels in the Hemposium. I got a picture of Jerry meeting Jorge Cervantes after the panel on growing. What a nice man! And so very knowledgeable about growing cannabis.
We had a wonderful conversation with a lovely Tibetan man who also attended His Holiness the Dalai Lama's lecture in May. We each shared our impressions of His Holiness and agreed that we each left the lecture changed somehow. The feeling we experienced has continued to stay with each of us. I felt elevated just speaking with him. It was a lovely way to begin the day.
 |
| Cannabis Lawyer panel |
 |
| Medical Benefits of Cannabis panel |
The doctors were next. Dr. David Bearman, Dr. Jake Felice, Dr, David Ostrow, and Dr. William Courtney. They covered several issues, but the one that kept coming up was the efficacy of higher CBD varieties in treating basically everything. Breeding higher CBD varieties as opposed to higher THC varieties produce plants with less psychoactive ability than their typical counterparts. Dr. Felice uses cannabis in his medical practice and discussed that various CBD components are effective in the treatment of diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, chronic pain, muscle spasms, inflammatory conditions, immune system problems, anxiety and yes, more. Dr. Courtney stressed the importance of daily raw ingestion of cannabis for everyone, including children. He recommended that the leaf not be harvested after the third month as its potency declines after that. He spoke about CBD Acid, which he called a stunning gift. He noted that in a study done with mice, researchers saw a drop in diabetes from 86% to 28% with the introduction of cannabidiol. It helped with optic neuropathy and insulin resistance. It's effective in both prevention and in repairing the damage that results. Dr. Bearman spoke about cardiac patients who experience 30 point drop in the blood pressure when on cannabis. This was an unbelievably important panel discussion. This is the kind of information people need to illustrate what a incredibly healing plant this is and how ridiculous our government's stance is on it. For the love of God, cannabis cures cancer. It controls severe epilepsy. It connects autistic children with their families. It saves childrens' lives. We need this kind of honest conversation. We need these facts.
 |
| Growing medicine panel |
I have to say, I wasn't sure I wanted to return this year to Hempfest. Last year was hot and I got a blister on the bottom of my foot..the first day. It was horrible. But I persevered. And in view of the successful legalization efforts last year in Washington, I thought it would be fun. And it has been. Oregon just legalized dispensaries. We've already rescheduled it to a 2. Sure would be nice if we'd legalize it completely.
Instead of Hempfest, it should have been called LoveFest, because love for this plant was everywhere. Or I was high. In any event, have a happy, hempy day!
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