A Great Teacher has Returned Home..

Yesterday was a big deal for two reasons:

Ken Wapnick passed yesterday. He was there from the beginning of A Course in Miracles. He knew Helen Schucman and William Thetford. Helen received the revelation and Bill transcribed it. Ken and his wife Gloria introduced the Course to the world. Although I have never met any of them, by making the Course available, my life was changed forever.

The other thing that happened yesterday was I finally finished the text of A Course In Miracles. It only took thirty years or so. I would only get through half of it and then I'd become sidetracked by life. I could have finished it Thursday, but I decided to wait. I didn't have any real reason for that, and when it only took a few minutes yesterday to finish, I was irritated at myself for slacking off. I thought, well this is fitting. It was then that I discovered Dr. Wapnick had died. And then I knew why I waited. What better tribute to pay to someone than to study a message he so selflessly spent his life sharing with all.

I believe strongly in synchronicity. It reflects the oneness that defines us all. The Course presents oneness as our reality. The world as we see it now is simply an elaborate illusion that we relive again and again until we don't need to anymore. It's a dream that we believe is reality. The Son looked away from the Father only for an instant. It was over and done with as soon as it happened. That notion alone can be a bridge too far for many. And yes, it defines the "Son" a little differently. Instead of an individual, the Son is all of us. However, I'm one of those out of the box thinkers so I was not deterred by any of that. The world had always seemed surreal at best anyway, so it essentially clarified things for me. I didn't realize back then that I was an empath, but it didn't stop me from functioning as one. So the Course seemed a natural extension to how I already experienced the world. 

As the cliche goes, we're spirit having a human experience. We are misdirected Thought in various stages of awakening from the dream. As the veil lifts, we awaken to the understanding that we are indeed home where our Creator has never left us. Sin, according to the Course, is of the world and is an illusion of our own making. Instead, it's error, which can always be forgiven. No one is condemned to hell. We are presented with continual opportunities to forgive instead of attacking each other. It's our choice what we do while we're here. When our bodies stop functioning, we remain as we always have been..in oneness with each other and in oneness with the Creator. It's odd we don't seem to embrace that while our bodies exist. We can see evidence of that everywhere. But when we do, there will be no further need for the world. 

In the last chapter of the text, the Course exhorts us to "choose once again". It reminds us that in every encounter we have the opportunity to choose to see holiness instead of sin, heaven instead of hell. We have the opportunity to choose forgiveness over attack. We can, indeed, choose once again. And as we do, we stay in the oneness, the Holy Instant, where time doesn't exist and love is all there is.

In honor of Ken, here are the last four paragraphs of the text:

Let us be glad that we can walk the world, and find so many chances to perceive another situation where God's gift can once again be recognized as ours! And thus will all the vestiges of hell, the secret sins and hidden hates be gone. And all the loveliness which they concealed appear like lawns of Heaven to our sight, to lift us high above the thorny roads we travelled on before  the Christ appeared. Hear me, my brothers, hear and join with me. God has ordained I cannot call in vain, and in His certainty I rest content. For you will hear, and you will choose again. And in this choice is everyone made free.

I thank You, Father, for these holy ones who are my brothers as they are Your Sons. My faith in them is Yours. I am as sure that they will come to me as You are sure of what they are, and will forever be. They will accept the gift I offer them, because You gave it me on their behalf. And as I would but do Your holy Will, so will they choose. And I give thanks for them. Salvation's song will echo through the world with every choice they make. For we are one in purpose, and the end of hell is near.

In joyous welcome is my hand outstretched to every brother who would join with me in reaching past temptation, and who looks with fixed determination toward the light that shines beyond in perfect constancy. Give me my own, for they belong to You. And can You fail in what is but Your Will? I give You thanks for what my brothers are. And as each one elects to join with me, the song of thanks from earth to Heaven grows from tiny scattered threads of melody to one inclusive chorus from a world redeemed from hell, and giving thanks to You.

And now we say "Amen." for Christ has come to dwell in the abode You set for Him before time was, in calm eternity. The journey closes, ending at the place where it began. No trace of it remains. Not one illusion is accorded faith, and not one spot of darkness still remains to hide the face of Christ from anyone. Thy Will is done, complete and perfectly, and all creation recognizes You, and knows You as the only Source it has. Clear in Your likeness does the light shine forth from everything that lives and moves in You. For we have reached where all of us are one, and we are home, where You would have us be. T-VIII. v.9-12 pp 668-69

Excerpt from A Course in Miracles. Combined Volume. 3rd Edition. Foundation for Inner Peace. 2007 

 

 

Today's Runecasting..Dagaz, Hagalaz, Uruz

In today’s runecasting, I cast  Dagaz, Hagalaz and Uruz. Dagaz suggests a shift in awareness or perspective, as well as increased growth. Hagalaz, a rune of transformation, illustrates that not everything is within our control and sometimes forces are at work that seem to destroy. But not all destruction is negative per se. Sometimes destruction is necessary so that new growth can take place.  Uruz suggests creation or rebirth, so it’s easy to see the message from the runecasting today.

All around us we see a quickening of the world. We’re seeing a shift in perspective take place. Oneness is our reality. Old beliefs are being cast aside, replaced by beliefs of inclusion. But the pull to remain the same, as evidenced in Hagalaz, is everywhere. We see it in our many conversations about how we can live together in love and unity.  We seem to be confused about our role in this life. Another child died in Colorado at the hand of her stepfather, a terrible accident to be sure..yet we haven’t yet agreed that we can stop this without losing who we are, when in fact, in doing so, we actually embrace who we are.  Our oneness. And that’s the rebirth Uruz suggests. A rebirth that will heal our world, filled with compassion, love and unity. A rebirth that will let us all remember that we are one family and that each of us is necessary.

The push toward progressive thinking, the new Pope's inclusive nature, the growing rejection of the surveillance state, the rejection of war, the outrage at how women are treated in this country and around the world, along with all the attitudes that strive to keep oppression in charge, all represent this conversation we're having. The push and pull of right thinking versus wrong thinking; of unity versus division are part of our rebirth as a loving creation.

We haven’t lost our way..we only forgot for a while.

The First Year in Review..

I started this blog one year ago today on the advice of my youngest son. He felt my Facebook page was too activist and I should have another, more appropriate place to express my views. I guess he didn't realize I could post everything I write here on my wall. In any event, I have to thank him because I really like my blog. I appreciate everyone who has read any of it. I named it Eternally Dazed and Confused because typically that's how I feel. I decided I would write about the things I care about..women's issues, the whole country is going down the crapper, medical cannabis, and things like that. Then came the more metaphysical stuff such as runecasting, The Course, and empath abilities. 

A year ago, I didn't know that four months later my business would end and our lives would be turned upside down. I also didn't know that ultimately, that would be a really great thing. I also would learn that I didn't have the friends I thought I had. That was far more difficult than losing the business. But it's always better to know the truth about things, and evidently their friendship was tied to our business and not to us. And that's okay. Things get confusing when your business is your life. And now that I'm happily unemployed, clarity has finally returned.

I've had time during this year to return to my study of A Course in Miracles. It's not that I stopped studying, I just didn't finish the text. So I, along with my husband, began the text again and I'm almost finished. He listened to the entire book on his IPod and is currently on his second time around. The Course is such a departure from how most people view themselves and the world around them, that it's a blessing that he has embraced it as I have. He might as well since he's been exposed to it for the last thirty years. It's nothing if not familiar.

Studying the Course has also helped me as an empath. Constant awareness of emotions surrounding me tends to leave me feeling drained. It would be nice if it were empowering, but it's not. The noise gets loud and I usually check out until it quiets down. From the Course, I realize that it's really a focus problem. I've always been too distracted by everything that goes on around me. It's sort of like going to a craft store. I have no idea where to start. Creative energy is everywhere and there's so much to look at! The only thing I can do is to start at one end and go through each aisle until I find what I came there for. Empaths are like kids in a candy store with energy. We absorb everything unless we shield ourselves from it. So over the last year, I have been learning how to shield myself more effectively. And that's been a lifesaver.

In July, my abuser died and his wife is now sending me the bills associated with his death. Although we've never met, she had decided that his ultimate victim should be responsible for everything. Nice lady. She apparently also tried to replace his name with her own on my brother's house, which he owned jointly with my brother. She also didn't tell us about a couple of related bank accounts, one of which, unbeknownst to me, I was an actual owner of, and the other we were both beneficiaries of. Unfortunately for her, however, when she alerted the bank of his death by cancelling our father's debit card, the bank contacted my brother to let him know the funds need dispersing. Having no idea what this was about, he contacted the wife and she went nuts.  Grandmaster Parker used to say something to the effect, "greed is the seed of destruction". He was right. It is. So the bills come. If they don't come directly from her, then I contact anyone I have to and explain the situation, and then threaten to sue them if they bother me again. Because after all, daughters who are molested by their fathers don't have to be responsible for the death bills. Wives are. Particularly in community property states. Which they lived in when he died. Women might want to think before marrying late in life. It's telling when daughters cut off contact with their fathers and no one will explain why.

All in all, even with the bumps in the road, the summer was awesome. I reconnected with my home, worked out in my greenhouse, did all the flood irrigation of our pasture, and I'm walking eight miles each day. Yes, eight. Four years ago, my RA had become so bad that I thought I would die. I was in what would become a year long flare. Half way through, I became a cannabis patient. January 2011 was the beginning of the end of my twelve year nightmare. I could barely walk during those years, making even going to the grocery store difficult. Excruciating pain 24/7 is exhausting, so to be able to walk eight miles a day is pretty cool. Unfortunately, Kenpo is another story. I have so much damage from the RA, that I find working out to be tricky, so that's going more slowly. The last thing I need to do is injure myself, but I've been a Black Belt for almost twenty-three years. And not being able to move like one for twelve of those years was devastating. Baby steps..

I hate platitudes, but the one about losing everything to find what you actually need is true. We all get so caught up in illusions that seem to drive our chaotic lives when we need to choose peace. We're only victims of our chaotic lives if we choose to be. We forget how much power we actually have to extend love and unity to others. Anything else doesn't deserve our attention at all..

Thanks for reading! Your comments are most welcome and so very appreciated!

Oneness and the Course..

I became a student of A Course in Miracles in the mid-eighties. I heard the name of the book and I knew it was real. Yes..I know..but empaths do that sort of thing. We just know. I have spent around thirty years of my life trying to complete it because it's required. I'd get through most of it, and then I'd become sidetracked by my ego and come back to it, sometimes years later. Once you know about it, you have to do it. No matter how long it takes. I drove my family nuts with all the "things only have the meaning you give them" comments. Although not a religion, it references Christian terms, but it's more than that. The Course redefined my understanding of God and myself in a way that I had never thought of before. Honestly, if everyone knew what the Course says, our view of religion would change completely. And it probably should given how people have used religion for their own nefarious purposes. Religion, in and of itself, is fine. It creates community and teaches people to be loving to each other. But as we all know, this can go awry and all kinds of destructive things can result. 

I've always been interested in the "how" of things. How is even more important to me than "why". So when it became clear to me from my study that oneness was more than just a spiritual concept, I was intrigued. And after you know that, just try and get mad at people. Go ahead..try to condemn them completely. Pretty soon, you start thinking about how they became so awful that they deserve your wrath in the first place. That gives way to, say it with me now, understanding. Anger gives way by then to forgiveness and pretty soon, not only can you not be mad at anyone, you actually find yourself becoming concerned about them instead of condemning them. How is that even possible when you felt so justified? Of course those who are immersed in their "me-ness" might have a problem with all of this, but separation, divisiveness, and disunity are at the root of the world's problems, so individuality be damned.

So back to the notion, we are one. What does that actually mean? I attended a lecture last May given by His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, where he affirmed this very premise. In my study of A Course in Miracles, I discovered that oneness actually exists on the metaphysical level. We are one, because we are one. We only look separate because we chose to be separate. The Sonship is actually all of us, as one. We are also one with the Holy Spirit, the Voice for the Creator, as well as with the Creator. We can choose to forgive (the Atonement) and return home, or delay that return by choosing the ego (body). We cannot choose both. It's either one or the other. We either choose oneness with the Creator (which is reality) or oneness with our ego (unreality). The Course says:

Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.

What an amazing concept! If true, then this world is an illusion and apparently only necessary so that we can forgive ourselves for separating from the Creator in the first place. We accomplish this by forgiving others. Since we're all one anyway, by forgiving others, we forgive ourselves. This is the miracle the Course speaks of. It brings love to each of us and undoes fear. It acknowledges the worth of all. Miracles are thoughts so loving that they heal involuntarily, apart from our own direction. True healing we leave to the Holy Spirit. All we're asked to do is to remember that we are one and as such cannot judge anyone. If we are indeed one, then any judgment we make of others is judgment upon ourselves. 

We blame and attack each other for problems that, more often than not, arise from our own perceptions. We make this stuff up out of whole cloth, creating drama in an effort to dominate others. Instead of understanding this is all a script that was written long ago that we come back here time and again to relive, we view what's happening as real. Except that drama is often threatening. And as we know from the aforementioned quote, if the drama was real, nothing about it can be threatening. In other words, if the drama were from the Creator, then it would be real and all-encompassing. Instead, it's from our minds. We create the mess that doesn't actually exist and if we only turned away from it, we would be fine. We would remember that we're part of something that is so much greater than anything we can conceive of here in this existence. We exist in peace and love. We can exist that way here by viewing everyone and everything as holy and engage in the Holy Instant with everyone, free from judgment, and full of love.

And that's not always easy, and we're always looking to see if forgiveness "took". Unfortunately, that's also judgment, and considered to be an attack upon the very person we're forgiving..as well as ourselves (that whole oneness thing again). And really, is there a choice to be made at all? We tell ourselves that there is, but there isn't if we want to live in truth. Life here in corporeal existence is hard. We dodge minefields everywhere. If we actually believed that we were part of a greater spirit that is complete love and joy, wouldn't we focus on that? Somehow, we've decided the world of the ego is more interesting, so we focus our efforts on building that world, instead of turning back to the only world that really exists..Heaven. 

All that happened was misdirected thought. When everyone understands this, this world will no longer exist because it won't need to. Learning will have been accomplished and oneness will again be all that is.

NOTE: Quotations are from A Course in Miracles. Foundation for Inner Peace. 2007.
Contact them at PO Box 598, Mill Valley, CA 94942 or on the web at www.acim.org

Shielding: Living in the Calm

As an empath, I absorb energy around me. Until yesterday, I have never been successful at controlling that. I found a great empath communitiy  and joined. I learned a couple of visualization techniques to shield myself from all the energy I absorb. One involves a symbol that I can use to remove excess energy that I have absorbed and another that involves visualizing my cells moving apart, creating space for the energy to slip past. Empaths must constantly clear this energy or life becomes extremely uncomfortable. Trust me on this. I'm 56 now. It took me this long to find out that I can actually control what happens to me.

Until yesterday, I never knew what true calm felt like. It's an amazing feeling. I envied others who could stay calm in difficult situations. Heck, I envied others who were calm in calm situations. Because it isn't always about the situation. Sometimes it's the other person. Empaths refer to these people as energy vampires, not because we actually think of them as vampiric in nature, but that being around them seems to actually drain us of our energy. Even thinking about them can do it, whether you're with them or not. I seem to be attracted to these people because my life is filled with them. Most of the time, they have no clue what effect they have on me, so it's not intentional on their part. We've all been around people that seem to project energy outward. We call them flighty, or intense, and they seem to raise the energy level in the room. Public speakers can be great at this. No one means to hurt me, but I'm affected anyway.

Sometimes I can ride the energy and it's positive. But mostly, it's confusing being so overwhelmed when nothing outward is actually happening. And now I have some tools to deal with all of it. I use the clearing tool to "clear a path" in large stores so that I can get through the moment quickly and get out of there. I've always done that without knowing I was doing it. Apparently it's another technique empaths find helpful. I'm sure most of us do thing to deal with this without even knowing we're doing it. So finding a community of empaths who know how to do these things is such a blessing.

Empaths with an extreme outward focus, as I have always been, don't take care of themselves. Their entire live is lived in service to others, forgetting themselves entirely. Well, not entirely, and that leads to depression. We can never get out of the trap we eternally find ourselves in because we don't understand that how we feel isn't our fault. It's no one else's either unless the person is doing something intentionally. We think we're insane, although we're completely sure we're not. But when your focus is external, you believe whatever others say about you. It's a response not reflective of truth.

I'm not going to tell any empaths out there what to do, but that link to that community is at the beginning of this post.. 

Life CAN be better..I promise..

UPDATE:  At the store today, I saw my former dentist who, after committing insurance fraud against me, wrote me a scathing two page letter excoriating me for refusing to continue using him as my dentist, and I walked right past him without feeling anything. Without shielding, I could have never done that..

Do humans answer the phone anymore?

Okay, I'll state for the sake of clarity, that I just got off the phone with Paypal. Now I'm sure they're very nice people and I know they serve a great purpose for many, and the woman I spoke with was very nice, but they use that computer generated response to phone calls that I find absolutely irritating. It takes forever to navigate through it in order that I can speak to a human being. By that time, I need to be taken away in a straight jacket. Because at that point, I'm willing to perform my entire black belt test on the next person I talk to. The whole thing. So, to save myself from arrest and incarceration, I guess I just won't use Paypal anymore. Call it the path of least resistance. Call it anything you want..but I surrender. I'm done.

Also, I'm a bit of a techie. I networked our house when the boys homeschooled. I bought them computers, and they both have college degrees in that field. They're also gainfully employed, which is a plus. So, I'm not a novice at "all things computer". I think some of these places put you into a continual loop so that you continue to use their service or product or whatever. I used to have a Pitney Bowes account at the business I owned. Never get one of those, by the way. It's not that the machines don't work..they do work. And they work well. I enjoyed mine while I had it, but then I wanted to get a Dymo Stamps account. It didn't have a rental fee or a monthly service fee, so I decided that would fit my needs better. So I called them one day and asked them to send me a box to return it to them. They didn't want me to use my own box. So, I called and talked to this ridiculous man who wouldn't let me close my account. I had to call several more people to make this happen. He took great delight at my confusion and would not let me close that account. Except that he did close it and didn't tell me so. I had to go through their maze to find someone who told me that it was taken care of and the box was on the way to me. When it got to me, it was practically destroyed. There was nothing in it, so it didn't survive the trip on the UPS truck. So, I taped it back together, put the postal machine in it, and sent it back. I never heard another word from them. I still have my Dymo Stamps account. Any time I need assistance, I can call them, get a human, and they help me with whatever I need. I highly recommend using them. I'll do anything not to have to go to the post office..

I love technology. I love computers. I love gadgets. I just don't like calling someone I do business with and having to navigate too many selections. I don't mind a voice that comes on to ask which department I want, but after that, knock it off. Get me to a real person. I can be done with my business so much more quickly than if I have to go from one place to another. US Bank does this well. And they stay on the line with me and introduce me to the next person I have to talk to. I like that. Sometimes they even will give me a phone number to call if something goes haywire just to get back to them so we can start over. That's all I ask. Just some respect. I'm more than happy to extend that to any of them. 

Okay, rant's over..thanks for listening.. and lots of hugs and love to Dymo Stamps and US Bank. You guys rock!

Sunday/December Runecasting 12/1/13

Nawthiz (need), Tiwaz (cosmic law), and Berkano (life force)

"Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing real exists. Herein lies the peace of God." ACIM

Today's runecasting is interesting. It speaks to some things I've been thinking about lately. Nawthiz refers to need or necessity. What do we actually need to exist in this life? We fill our minds with illusions of what we need, but actually, we need none of those things. We invent a life that is filled with chaos and judgement and forget that we are spirit incarnated here for such a short time. Since our true nature is one of spirit, and not of the body, we evidently get distracted and create whatever mess we choose. But choice has nothing to do with need and that's where the conflict arises. Need is defined by the Creator, not by us.

Tiwaz refers to basic or fundamental universal law. These are the truths that are defined by the Creator, or Source Energy. They are the basis for our moral compass that some in this life find so challenging. Tiwaz speaks of balance and justice, and sacrifice for the common good. It challenges us to engage in "right thinking" and reflects a universal set of truths or laws that govern everyone..even when we don't cooperate. The action is, in effect, to remain true to the blueprint given us by the Creator.

Berkano, or life force, represents birth, rebirth, emergence and sanctuary. Although typically I would interpret this as a rebirth of sorts, in light of the Course, it feels more like an emergence into the sanctuary of the higher self. It's like a clearing away of the mist that has been a veil before our vision for so long.

Only the needs of spirit are real..remaining focused on universal truth, nothing else matters..and in remembrance we emerge peacefully into the light.


You Sister In Oneness,

~ Jan

Resting in peace..

Rest in peace is typically something we say when someone has passed. The reality of that phrase is something else. A Course in Miracles talks about staying in the moment, the Holy Instant, not allowing the past or the future to influence with judgement how we see our brother in that instant. We indeed enter a pure space where time falls away, in oneness with our brother.

In Chapter 20, the Course talks of entering the Ark. The Ark is a safe space where we enter with our brother, remaining in the Holy Instant, outside of time. There is no judgement there. It is a place where "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing real exists. Herein lies the peace of God." ACIM

The Course teaches that we are essentially spirit having a human experience here. As long as we don't forget this (we usually forget this) then we're here, resting in peace all over the place, happy and loving to everyone. We embrace the truth that we are part of a collective consciousness, where each spirit is as essential to the whole as all the others. 

Our confusion happens when we see the world around us as real, when it is an illusion of our ego's making. We allow judgement to enter every situation, bringing the past into the present, thus controlling the future. Unfortunately, it's a dark place where the light that never leaves us is kept at bay. Or at least we think that's what we're doing. After all, we're confused here.

When we realize that everything here is error, we can forgive our brother and in doing so extend that gift to ourselves. The reality is, what one experiences, so does the rest. As spirit, we're connected to each other that way in spirit. The body is an illusion of our making and has no real meaning. We can use it for love, or we can use it for hate. It's a choice, except even that is an illusion..and only of the ego. In truth, we could no more hurt our brother in spirit because spirit doesn't not see error. When we turn away from error and remember we are actually spirit, the distinction becomes clear.

The awareness of our reality as spirit is actually a remembrance that some of us never lose when we are born into this existence. As an empath, I have never fully attached to my body which helped considerably when experiencing sexual abuse as a child. I was able to separate from my body and remain unaffected by what was happening. Surreal, I know.. And from my course work toward my degree in psychology, I'm fairly certain that I would have been locked up in a psych ward had I shared any of that with anyone back then. Because although my soul remained unaffected, my ego was destroyed. Without support it's difficult as a child to discern the difference. And I had no such support, so I was on my own to process all the crazy making behavior my family heaped upon me.

When I found the Course, it put words to what I had always known, making my empath reality understandable as well. I absorb energy if I don't protect myself. If I don't stay in the present in the moment, then I can take on all sorts of energy that is hurtful to me. Staying present is harder to do than it sounds. I feel a physical pull to chaotic energy. It's the ego's play time and if I'm not careful, I can lose focus on what's real and become the other person in a sense. Empaths are distracted by chaotic energy the way a small child is distracted in a toy store. We engage. Monumentally so, at times. I can even become physically ill as well. What helps me is to remember that when I feel that energy pulling from me, I'm actually leaving the safety of the present and using the past to judge whatever I'm experiencing at the time, creating a new present that is based in illusion. In other words, it's not real, and as we know..nothing real exists.

I learned from the Course that I don't have to participate in everything that's going on around me because none of it is real anyway. If it's not of the Source, then it's not real. It frees me to not see error in my husband, my kids, my friends, or my neighbors (even the guy with the gun, see August 14 post). I can release my abuser from that judgement. None of it was about me anyway. I can be mindful of energy and how it affects me without diving in head first, understanding that I give all of it the meaning it has for me. I can choose to see the holiness that is, ignoring the ego's attempts at diversion. That keeps me present. That keeps me in spirit..and resting in peace..

In Oneness 

~ Jan

Underestimate Women at your Peril

SCOTUS has decided to weigh in on the employer/birth control part of the Affordable Care Act. That's all women need. Although the court ruled the ACA constitutional, this part is troubling. 

When did an employer have the right to decide what medicine I can have? In all the years I worked for other people, and was lucky enough to have health insurance there, the only issue I faced was, did I have chiropractic, dental and vision. Sometimes I had to get pre-approval for procedures, but never did the subject of birth control come up. So either this was done behind the scenes, or it didn't happen. So why now?

I can only surmise that this has to do with the Tea Partyesque attitudes that seem to have brought our government to a virtual standstill. This need to control women is both diabolical and pathetic. 

Men have no right to control anything about women. At some point, this will be made clear to everyone, because we're not taking it anymore. The battle lines have been drawn. And we're more effective than you can imagine. So step back or prepare for battle, because here's some things we're tired of:

• our children dying at the hands of nut jobs with guns. 
• our state and federal governments oppressing our vote, our income levels, and our constitutional rights. 
• going to prison for defending ourselves from crimes committed against us. 
• our children going hungry because 3/4 of us work at minimum wage jobs and the Tea Party wants to take food stamps away from the most vulnerable among us.
• making less than our male counterparts doing the same job. 
• the government viewing poor people as drains on our society, while politicians lay prostrate at the feet of the rich who fill their election coffers.
• undocumented families living in the shadows, willing to incur employer abuse so that they can live here. It's slavery and it's illegal.
• our veterans not mattering..oh they matter when you need them to protect us, but then you leave them, and their families, by the wayside when they come back home.

I could go on, but you get the point. Here's the thing. Time is running out for misogynists. Women are stronger than you. Together, we can do anything, including putting you where you belong. 

Underestimate us at your peril.

Sunday's Runecasting.

As a student of A Course in Miracles, I relate my work with runes to the basic premise of the Course.. “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God”. A three rune spread works well for this purpose.

I felt moved to use an amethyst set of runes today instead of my usual apple wood set. Amethyst is a stone of protection and spirituality, fostering spiritual growth and a connection to the divine. Today, I pulled Fehu, Jera, and Dagaz. Typically, a three rune spread will involve Issue, Action and Outcome.

Fehu is represented by cattle, or the herd. It’s the first rune of the first Aett. It’s where we begin in life. We begin our corporeal existence as one of the herd. Fehu suggests that we become more independent with time. Time is the key word here which will have more meaning when I discuss the significance of Jera. Fehu also represents wealth, earned income, position, status. But as we know from the Course, these things are illusions created by the ego, using the past to judge, furthering the separation from each other and the Creator. In my view then, Fehu suggests that true wealth is spiritual in nature and cannot be threatened by the illusory nature of this world.

Jera is represented by time..in this case the Year. It suggests the universe is indifferent to what goes on here. Another way of saying this, is that the Creator makes no judgement. The Course teaches that judgement belongs to the Creator and not to us. That does not mean that the Creator sits around judging any of us..because She does not. Time is attached to the past and, therefore, judgement. Time is a linear construct, relevant only to this world. It doesn’t exist in spirit. It is of the ego; therefore, it is not real. Because as we know, “nothing unreal exists”. Fehu represents not only growth and development, but also erosion and decay...the essential impermanence of this corporeal existence.

Dagaz is represented by the light of Day. Transcending time, it suggests realization or enlightenment. One would think this is the result of a journey, and I suppose in one sense it is, except it’s a journey to what already is. It’s a shift in perspective, or perhaps a realization that perspective is judgement and not relevant at all. We live along the horizontal plane in this life, but as we realize what we actually are, miracles collapse time, and eventually all that’s left is the vertical plane where we truly reside. That’s what’s meant by As Above, So Below..the oneness of the vertical plane where All are One.  Where “herein lies the peace of God”.

To sum up, we are one. We can delude ourselves into thinking this isn’t true, or that it takes time to work out all of our problems so that we can then become one. Actually, the problems we believe we have are actually illusion. The Creator doesn’t even see them. Our wealth, our Fehu is spiritual in nature. It’s our reality that never ceases, no matter how hard we try to forget it. The action in this case, Jera, shows us that time is an illusion and we have only to remember who we are. Time collapses and we move closer to truth. Which brings us to the outcome, Dagaz. It is who we are. We live in the peace of God because we are the peace of God. 

This was a wonderful runecasting today. 

Quotation from A Course In Miracles..

But Now is the Time We Need a Mom-in-Chief the Most..

Michelle Cottle wrote an article in Politico in which she said that Michelle Obama is a feminist's nightmare or something to that effect. Apparently, she expects more of our First Lady than being Mom-in-Chief. As if that's not enough. After all, she's Harvard-educated. She should be championing feminist issues.

She is.

Feminism is one of the most over-defined words that only puts pressure on women to be "something else". Who they are doesn't matter as long as they live up to some bizarre expectation or standard. And how is that different from living in a patriarchal society, where men decide everything for us? Why would we put that same pressure on other women? 

We need a Mom-in-Chief. We need a First Lady who showers everyone with hugs and positive energy. Our children are being murdered at schools, malls, neighborhoods, and homes. We need a Mom-in-Chief to hold us and cry with us. We know she understands our sorrow and grief. We feel her love and devotion as we stand here, in shock over the vitriolic discussion about gun control. How could this even be an issue? Of course we need gun control. But mostly, we just need to remember our purpose here. Because you see, it really is about the children. We give birth to them and then create a life that sustains them. But as we all see, that doesn't always happen. 

Dreamers need a Mom-in-Chief. She knows that family is everything and its preservation key to our survival. She understands the value of education and that it elevates our society. She, along with our Second Lady, supports veterans and their families, speaking out on the issues they face on a daily basis. She and students planted a garden at the White House, using it as a teachable moment. Can you imagine if everyone had even a small garden? What a wonderful skill to teach your children. But instead of everyone seeing value in the garden, the more small-minded of us saw this as a means of socialist control of people. Yes, they went there. And oh my goodness, the uproar over her focus on exercise was deafening. And yet, I walk eight miles a day. 

Michelle Obama understands that family is a microcosm of the rest of society. Elevate the family with such things as education, equal pay, marriage equality and we elevate society as a whole. This isn't a socialist concept. This the human condition. It's not an attack on our freedom. It's a suggestion for another, more healthy way to live. It's about balance...something that's lacking in this country.

I really take issue with women who try to define feminism for other women. Women make choices and should be supported, not derided, for those choices. I am a college graduate, but I chose to stay home with my boys for the first seven years. After that, I had various jobs, but none in my field. For that, I would have had to attend graduate school and that wasn't an option then. Instead, I focused on raising my children. Does that make me less of a feminist than someone who has a high-powered job somewhere? I don't think so. I made my choices. Isn't that partly what feminism is about? Not letting others define those choices for us? Why then would other women judge us so harshly for those choices? I'll leave that to Ms. Cottle to figure that one out.

I've owned two businesses, one a martial arts studio and the other an independent motorcycle shop. I faced misogyny in both. As a black belt, I was far more skilled than my students, but oftentimes it seemed as if my male students only respected me when they couldn't remember something. Then, I was important. Otherwise, not so much. They couldn't understand that their behavior affected their advancement and I had a vote in that. 

In the motorcycle shop, it was just us. No employees. So I had to learn all about Harleys in an instant. I became well-versed in how they worked, and what parts went on them. I estimated accident jobs, and put together bids for engine and performance work. Much to the chagrin of many of my male customers, I also did their fuel injection tuning. Yes, I made their bikes haul ass. Their conflict over it was hilarious. So I understand the whole guy thing. I owned two businesses that catered to the male ego..well the dojo was there to combat it, but still, that's what I dealt with.

The point of this is that it's not easy to be a woman in today's world. We make up the majority of the minimum wage workers in this country. And now we have to revisit reproductive rights issues that should have been put to rest long ago. The war on women is bad enough with women piling on as well.

So thank you to our wonderful First Lady for being there for us..setting that standard..showing everyone compassion and love. Ms. Cottle would do well to observe and then emulate.

It's Too Serious to be Called Domestic Violence

Can we please stop calling assault by one's spouse/partner/boyfriend, domestic violence? We tend to create labels that actually diminish in our minds the seriousness of the crime. It's personal. It's between a couple. Somehow, it's not as important. And before anyone sends me hate mail, women are as capable as men when initiating an assault. It's just that when women defend themselves, the justice system seems biased in favor of the guy. Just look at the case in Florida where Marissa Alexander received a 20 year sentence for firing a warning shot when she felt threatened by her abusive husband. They won't even let her out to prepare for her new trial. So, I'm going to have a particular slant here, if only as my own perspective.

According to news reports, George Zimmerman was just arrested a short time ago for domestic violence. I have no idea what happened between Mr. Zimmerman and his girlfriend. But I can tell you about one such time between my parents. One night, my father slapped my mother so hard across the face for standing up to him that it echoed throughout the house. I watched in horror. I was eight. My father was a dangerous man. He had weapons in the house and we knew to be careful around him. But she was tired of being used and said so. He was up off the couch and on her in an instant. He left her swollen and bruised, teeth loosened. Then there was the requisite apology. She didn't accept. Ever.

These days, that's called domestic violence. Back then, it wasn't called anything. Seems minor enough considering what some experience. But if it had been another guy, it would have been assault. In my mother's case, he never struck her again. Instead, he focused the abuse on me. But then, that was part of the so-called domestic violence I lived with growing up. And he never went to jail. Life was always on his terms. Even now that he's dead. Abusers have that effect.

Domestic violence is rarely only about violence between a couple. It's affects everyone in the house as well as anyone who is aware of it. It's an act of terror and terror becomes the norm, whether the act of terror is physical or psychological. I've known women who believe the physical abuse was a cake-walk compared to the endless psychological torture they endured. I understand that view and agree with it. As children, we have to figure out a way through all of it and become adults, leaving that baggage behind. Guess what. You don't. It affects everything.

Hearing about Zimmerman's arrest for domestic violence earlier today, made my stomach turn. He should be in prison for killing precious Trayvon.  Calling this domestic violence, especially in the case of repeat offenders, just doesn't cut it. Assault is serious, even more so when it's by someone who has convinced you he's worthy of your trust.

It's been the good ol' boys club long enough. It's not open season on women and children. We're not targets for your aggression. We're the people you're supposed to love. Otherwise..go away. And for the love of God, let Marissa Alexander go home to her children.

They Can't Be Serious..

And here we go. Washington State Liquor Control Board, in its infinite lack of wisdom, is proposing to allow over 200 possible pesticides on cannabis sold in the new retail outlets. I guess that's one way to control people..make them sick, or worse. And rumor has it they're trying to gut the medical cannabis law as well. No home grow..just pesticide-laden cannabis sold to consumers. Great work, people.

In case anyone was confused on this issue, when voters vote yes on a new law, city, county, and/or state officials cannot then try to circumvent in some way the new law. Oregon's legislature said yes to dispensaries and several cities, including Medford, said no. So the state's attorneys issued a letter stating they couldn't do this. Since it looks like we will be legalizing soon, this is a positive omen. 

I have to believe the problems we're beginning to see in Washington, similar to those in Colorado, are a reflection of those in power disagreeing with the new law. These are the same people who disagreed with the medical cannabis laws, so none of this is really surprising. The nonsensical 5 nanogram DUID limit is an example of giving something, yet making it impossible to have. If it were actually based on fact, then fine, but we all know it's not. So let's lock up some more people for doing something legal.

Oregon has published the rules for dispensaries for comment. One problem I see with it is that it does not require dispensaries to send their cannabis for testing to an independent lab. I would imagine with all the comments I know have already been made, and the comments pending, this will be changed. I wouldn't feel comfortable buying anything from a dispensary that did its own testing. That's why Washington's 200+ pesticide rule is so nuts.

Look, bugs aren't okay, because you know..fecal matter and all. But pesticides aren't okay either. We have to stop thinking in terms of acceptable loss. Elevate the standards for once. (I was going to say, set standards high, but that was too punny.) People with compromised immune systems cannot ingest fecal matter or pesticides. Nor should anyone else. So let's make sure the labs are doing their jobs correctly and require dispensaries to use them. And no icky stuff..please.

I've read that patients in Washington are organizing and responding to the proposed new rules. Please reconsider some of what you're proposing. And leave patients alone. Leave the dispensaries alone. If anything, make life better for patients. When people are that ill, and nothing else works, cannabis makes the difference between health and illness. And sometimes, between life and death. 

#Peace4Patients.. and everyone else..

Lay back and enjoy it???

I just read an article in Think Progress (link below) where Ranjit Sinha, India's Chief of the Central Bureau of Investigation, said that if you are raped and can't stop it, you might as well lay back and enjoy it. He apologized, saying the usual "it was taken out of context" comments. I guess he doesn't realize that when he qualifies it that way, no woman anywhere is going to believe him.

I had a customer at the motorcycle shop I co-owned with my husband who told a rape joke that essentially ended with the same conclusion. His name was Mike and I think he was in his seventies, but still, what an idiot. It's in moments like these that I am thankful for the fact that I'm an honorable black belt. Because that honor was the only thing that kept me from jumping over my desk and performing the first 30 seconds or so of my black belt test on his face. But then, had I done so, I would have been no better than he was and I don't believe in beating up old men.

Many of us are survivors of sexual assault. To hear that an official charged with investigating rape said something like this demonstrates how rape culture filters throughout society, no matter where. In my case, that customer thought he was so special, telling that story. You know the kind who tell you a joke or a story as they take your leave. Thankfully, I never saw him again, and now that our business is over, I hope I never do. Because if I do, I'm going to bring up that story he told and explain to him how offensive it was. And yes, I'll use my words and not other parts of my body in the explanation. I hope his wife is there when I say these things. Wives never know how their husbands behave while out on their Harleys. She would be horrified. The crap I've witnessed would fill volumes.

Another customer, Roger, in September of 2007 came by the shop for something and as he was leaving, he shook my hand. Now Roger knew that we used to teach karate for a living and he also knew how ill I was. He shook my hand, gripping it so hard that he broke something in one of the fingers of my right hand. I knew something happened, but I didn't know for sure what it was. I was in such shock and in such pain that I just sat there. I always struggled with standing up for myself there because I felt that doing so would negatively affect our business. But Roger knew I had severe rheumatoid arthritis and that my hands were a mess. Shaking someone's hand is so automatic that I didn't think twice because no one..and I mean no one.. had ever gripped my hand that way. Most wouldn't even try to shake my hand..they could see what my hands looked like. They were swollen and at times I couldn't even hold a phone in my hand because gripping anything was difficult. But he did it. He didn't leave right away and tried to do it one more time before leaving again. I declined and he got a funny look on his face..kind of a half-smile. It was then that I was sure that he knew what he had done. I basically lost full use of that finger due to the swelling and pain. For most of the last six years, it's been that way and now there are at least five nodules that surround the joint. At least I can use it now. So that's something. I heard from some of his friends that he nearly knocked a woman down as he was going out of a door at a gas station and didn't even acknowledge he did so. His friends apologized profusely to her, but not him. In our system, we had techniques for aggressive handshakes. As ill as I was, however, I don't know how effective I would have been had I responded to what was clearly an attack on me. So environmental weaponry would probably have come into play. Kenpoists are nothing if not creative.

We're hearing a lot about rape culture these days. India has had it's fair share of criticism over how it views and then handles rape. Women are ridiculed and judged for something that is not their fault. Rape is a crime, after all. I read about a rape club in New Zealand that has been around destroying lives for the last two years or so. Why has nothing been done about these boys? Why are they being allowed to hurt girls this way?

Women are not the enemy, yet men continually see us that way. And don't even get me started on the women who fail other women. Traitors to the sisterhood, they are. We have a portion of Congress as well as GOP Governors who have begun a national war on women by the policies they introduce that oppress us and circumvent our constitutional rights. We have police who think nothing of doing roadside cavity searches for nonexistent drugs. We have police who arrest women for DUII and then film them as they're strip searched, doing God knows what with the video. And of course there's that stupid teacher who received a 30 day sentence for raping a 14 old student who subsequently committed suicide prior to his sentencing. The judge in the case should be removed from the bench and prosecuted for stupidity alone.
 
Lay back and enjoy it? Really? Do these idiots really think we're that stupid? We see what's going on in the world and how it affects us and our children. We see the lack of compassion and the downright bullying that's going on. Whether it's countries who gas their people, or it's our Tea Party controlled Congress who is doing all kinds of nefarious things to us, we know who you are. Because isn't the Tea Party essentially saying the same thing to all of us..lay back and enjoy it as they give the middle finger to us all? The incident in the restaurant parking lot in Texas the other day demonstrates this. Four women in a restaurant talking about ways to stop gun violence, versus forty men, so secure in their manhood, with guns. The world has gone insane.

How we regard people matters. It really begins and ends there. If we see others as holy and as brothers, we can't help but treat them well. Crimes like rape and other forms of assault would be anathema. We just couldn't bring ourselves to do it, let alone think about doing it. Rape culture is part of a broader mindset that is destructive and serves no one. A little compassion would be nice because #WomenNeverForget and we're #1BillionRising. Might want to think about that..



India’s Top Police Official: ‘If You Can’t Prevent Rape, You Enjoy It’ 

Mr. President, patients need your help..

Dear President Obama,

It's me, your unabashedly supportive cannabis patient and adoring fan. And I mean that. I knew you'd be our president when you spoke at the 2004 Democratic National Convention. Seriously..my husband and I were watching the convention and you were the keynote speaker. As we listened to your speech, I got uncontrollably teary and I said to my husband, you know what? He's going to be our president one day. And as much as I love Hillary, I voted for you in Oregon's primary in 2008. My boys voted for you and my husband voted for you. It was the coolest feeling ever! I joined the Democratic Party then as well. I had always registered as non-partisan. I really couldn't take sides, even though my heart was always with the Democrats and what they stood for. At least, I couldn't until you came into view. You see, we share basically the same views on most everything. Everything except for cannabis, it seems. I say, it seems, because although you seem to not support legalization, you also seemed to support the medicinal use or at least you seemed to support state law. In any event, the Ogden memo was nice, and then proved to be something else.

US Attorneys like the one in California appear hell-bent on not respecting state law and, in turn, patients. DEA and other law enforcement agencies appear to look upon raids as a way to increase department funding. All at the expense of patients who are following their state laws and who simply want to get well. As legalization continues throughout the states, which it surely will, at some point, you guys are going to have to figure out how to reconcile federal laws with state laws. Or how about this? Take cannabis out of the federal drug registry completely, and let states decide from there. Unless of course you want to go ahead and legalize federally. That would be the simplest thing to do. That gets the federal government out of the way of states who want to legalize. Fix the IRS and banking laws that interfere as well. Then fire any US Attorney who doesn't comply and continues to harass everyone. That should apply to law enforcement as well, particularly those idiot cops who did the roadside cavity search in Texas.

And now for why you need to take a thoughtful and compassionate look at cannabis as medicine. There are amazing stories of healing out there..google them. This is what I went through and continue to go through. I've probably had Rheumatoid Arthritis for most of my life. It went undiagnosed until 2001. I was severe for almost twelve years. I have taken all kinds of meds for it, including methotrexate (5 years until it damaged my liver), sulfasalazine, Enbrel (7 years), Humira (the last 4 years), various anti-inflammatory drugs, and narcotics. I retained so much fluid in the beginning and over time that my weight increased dramatically. I was always waif-like, so this was really disturbing..excruciating pain and weight gain. None of my doctors believed the whole fluid retention thing..they told me to eat less and exercise more. I ate nothing and exercised when I could because frankly, I couldn't walk very well. The fatigue was similar to mononucleosis fatigue. For my doctors to not believe me was emotionally devastating. I knew I would tread water and never get better. So I did what they wanted and took the drugs. And every day I suffered beyond description. My feet were so swollen that wearing shoes, not to mention walking, was difficult. My energy would happen in short bursts, leaving me exhausted. By 1pm, I was done. Except that we owned a business and I couldn't be done. We put in 98 hour work weeks for the first six years of our business. I experienced excruciating pain 24/7. I don't know how I survived that.

In September 2009, a flare began that would last a little more than a year. Flares are awful because they're far more intense than what your daily pain level would be. They typically last for a short time..a day, or a week maybe. For this to go on month after month was ridiculous. Honestly, I didn't think I would live through this. Eventually it was going to take its toll. So, six months after the flare began, I decided to get my OMMP card. I submitted my medical records for review and received my appointment. You don't get one of those if you don't qualify, so I was encouraged. Upon receiving my card, I began growing. Or I should say, my husband began growing. I wasn't able to help at that point..existing was difficult enough. After the first harvest, I began processing my cannabis into tincture and capsules. I designed a treatment regime that I could track and began medicating. I also vaporized cannabis as well as used raw leaf in smoothies. Within 2 months, much of the fluid was gone (TYSVM!!) and I began looking like myself again. I had immediately stopped the narcotic I was taking when I started the treatment regime. I also began discontinuing the anti-inflammatory drug I was on. I couldn't believe that I was so much better so quickly. I had been researching everything I could find on the endocannabinoid system and I was convinced that properties in cannabis balanced that system and when that happens, health returns. And that's what happened with me. By the end of September 2010, my flare was over. My garden was almost ready for harvest, but I had been medicating during the summer with cannabis given to me by other patients so that stopped the flare. I just didn't have the concentrates yet that would give me the best results. But when I did, my health began to return. 

Mr. President, I know there are really important things that need to be addressed in our country. I understand the obstruction that's happening and I know people may think that cannabis is really not all that important in the broader scheme of things..but it actually is. Patients, growers, dispensary owners are all being targeted in states where they shouldn't be. People with cancer are using cannabis oil and curing their cancer! Children with severe epilepsy are living normal lives for the first time ever! We have a wonderful child here in Oregon, Mykayla Comstock, who is in remission from her cancer because of cannabis oil. We're all healing because of this plant.


Today, I'm healthier than I've ever been. I still have RA, but it no longer controls my life. It's a nuisance now, and that's doable. I'm still on a couple of RA drugs, but everything else is gone. Cannabis allowed me to do all of this. It balances the immune system, and so much more.


Cannabis is a safe and effective treatment for everything. It never should have been made illegal. Legalizing it would stop the arrests and incarceration of people who are doing nothing wrong. At the very least, resolve the conflict between federal and state laws so that states who have legalized as well as those that only have medicinal cannabis laws won't have the issues they currently face. That helps patients in the long run.


I sit here, tears streaming down my face, imploring you to take up our cause. It's emotional when we finally have something that actually heals us when nothing else has. We believe we're safe because we're following state law, only to discover we're not safe at all. Patients need your compassion, your thoughtfulness. We need you to stand with us and clear the way for our healing. We need you to listen to our stories and not view them with that dreaded "anecdotal" label that diminishes our experiences, relegating them to the proverbial dustbin. We need you to take us seriously.

Respectfully,


Jan 

Medicinal Cannabis..since we're talking about heathcare and all..

Apparently the government knew that cannabis preparations are effective in treating epilepsy. In 1949. And now the FDA has approved a study to look at this. Thanks, guys. Whatcha' gonna do when parents of children who have died from severe seizures come knocking on your door? What will you say to them? What will you say to the families of loved ones who have died from cancer? Because IT DIDN'T NEED TO HAPPEN.

Will you let everyone out of prison for using cannabis medicinally? Will you stop destroying lives yet? All we want to be is well. All we want is for our children to be well and to live happy and productive lives. And yet the federal government continues to stand in the way of truth...and health.

Washington State legalized cannabis last time. And now it appears that the worst fears of patients everywhere are about to be realized. Some want to gut the medical cannabis law and hurt patients in the process. After reading various articles, I've come to the conclusion that the recreational outlets are concerned about losing out to dispensaries, which is odd because dispensaries are reserved for patients, not the general public. Again, it's about money and not about the patient. Many of us were concerned about I-502 and voiced those concerns at the time. Oregon and Washington tend to follow each other at times so I hope we're more sensible here. It looks like we will be because already cities such as Medford have tried to ban dispensaries which were just legalized. The state's attorneys issued a letter telling them that they can't do this, so there's that. We'll take encouragement wherever we can find it, I suppose.

Everywhere you look now, articles are springing up about the efficacy of cannabis in the treatment of all sorts of conditions. Whether you vape, smoke, use concentrates, or use raw cannabis in smoothies for example, cannabis will help everything. And no, I'm not high. It really WILL help everything. Ideally, cannabis should be consumed raw, either in smoothies, or if you like the taste, just eat it as is. There is no altered state associated with this and it's enormously healthful. I use it daily in my smoothies along with hemp hearts and hemp milk as well.

Vaping is recommended over smoking, but smoking cannabis isn't the same as smoking cigarettes, and actually protects your lungs in the process. I know that sounds counter-productive, but apparently research shows this to be true. Of course the current histrionics surround the so-called e-cigs. Vape pens for oil are essentially the same thing..we just put oil in them to medicate with. The best table-top vaporizer is the Volcano. There are some others as well, but most pens actually burn the cannabis instead of vaporizing, which is fine as long as you know that. Some conditions respond well to inhalation versus ingestion, so you figure out what works best and then do it.

Concentrates are another category. I don't really include medibles in this, however. Technically food is medicine, but that's another subject. By concentrates, I mean oil, tincture, and capsules. Oil is also known as Rick Simpson Oil, or RSO. This is the sludgy stuff that takes a whole bunch of dried bud to make a tiny amount of oil. Pictures of my latest oil are below. I use it for RA and it works well. Tincture is typically made with alcohol or glycerine. I prefer the glycerine version as I don't drink alcohol. Patients either put some under their tongue or in tea to medicate. I prefer tea. The capsules are made by infusing cannabis bud into coconut oil. You can either strain the infusion or not (I don't) and then when it cools enough you put them into capsules. I use the Cap-m-Quik system which includes trays. Filling them is messy. There's no getting around it. But they work. Take a weekend to titrate when you're not going anywhere. Probably should do that with every new batch of whatever you make.

In any event, people should take a close look at cannabis. It's not what people have been led to believe. All this time, we've had a safe treatment available that the government has denied us. We need to either grow it and make our own medicine, or we need to have dispensaries who will produce the same product we make in our kitchens. Big Pharma needs to stay out of it unless it can do the same. It's the entire plant that heals..not some derivation of. The best part is the lack of side effects that many drugs give. Imagine removing a growth with oil that when gone leaves behind new healthy skin. Imagine that instead of surgery that leaves scarring and God knows what else! As they say, been there, done that, so I know it's true.

No matter how you end up medicating, the important part is that you do it. And when you do, you'll join a remarkable family. And we're all here to help show you the way!

starting cup after reduction

reducing more

when bubble are gone, it's done!

             








Amazon or Cap-m-Quik have capsules and trays for coconut bud capsules. I use a rice cooker to prepare the oil and then a coffee warmer to boil out what's left of the alcohol.




        

Another assault..

A guy rolls through a stop sign, gets pulled over, and his nightmare begins.. Supposedly he is observed by law enforcement to be "clenching" his buttocks. So of course..drugs!! Obviously he has a ton of something up there. A judge agreed and they set out in search for a demon (doctor) to comply. The first place they tried, the doctor had ethics and morals and said, no. He refused to stick his finger up this guys butt in search of god knows what. He said it was unethical. Ya think??

The next place, Gila Regional Medical Center in Silver City, was on board and then the torture began. X-rays showed no drugs. Two digital exams showed no drugs. The results of three enemas showed no drugs. The colonoscopy showed no drugs.


Let's assume the officers noticed some unreasonable clenching. Did it ever occur to anyone to stop after the first x-ray? This poor man had just come from Walmart..not a drug deal. I realize sometimes really bad people are caught during innocent traffic stops, but what on earth made these people join in this way? The police, in effect, assaulted this man by proxy. And for what? Everyone needs to be fired, prosecuted, found guilty, and sent to prison. It's the least we can do to them.

Clearly, this guy just rolled through a stop. And no matter how hard law enforcement, the judge, and the demons who did all of this tried to find something more, there was nothing more to find. A federal lawsuit has been filed and there's a link below to the article from 4 On Your Side that gives the gory details. These folks did a terrific job explaining the horror this man experienced at the hands of people who should know better..

4 On Your Side investigates traffic stop nightmare  

UPDATE: another guy came forward..from Think Progress Second New Mexico Man Reports Police Forced Anal Probe After Traffic Stop

Saturday's Runecast relating to A Course in Miracles

To recap a bit, I began this blog last December. Over the past year or so I've experienced so much drama..and not of my own making. Well, I'm sure I participated, I just didn't cause any of it. So there's that. My landlord evicted us from our commercial space, which also ended our business. We couldn't find a place that was within our budget and given the seasonal nature of our business, we simply didn't feel that we could sign a lease with someone else without knowing how we would pay for it. Neither of us is irresponsible like that, so we took the burden that we're still coping with, both financially and emotionally.

In July, my father died who was also my abuser. Six weeks later, my next door neighbor apparently thought it was just fine and dandy to send his friend over wearing a pistol in plain sight to talk about getting irrigation water on his "crop". I had no idea who that guy was and now we don't speak to the neighbors anymore. If my neighbor had actually done his irrigation over the years, he would know that the properties are sloped in such a way that run off will get on his property. It was why he agreed that we could put a culvert in our driveway so that the run off could irrigate the lower part of his field where water didn't reach. Well, water could get there if they ever re-dug the ditches and actually irrigated that section, but that's another story. So, now I'm the bad guy who apparently needs to be confronted with weapons. Needless to say, now they're allowed only five feet from either side of my ditch and that's it. They're not allowed to be anywhere else on my property, especially at my front door...with a gun.

After my abuser died, his wife began sending me the bills associated with his death. I cut off contact with him over twenty years ago because I had to. The pressure became too great and I wasn't functioning at all. So back to the bills. I've never met this woman. At first, she used her own name in the return address section of the envelope she used. Then, she used his. Time out for a panic attack.. okay..breathing better now. It's as if my abuser is reaching out from the grave to abuse me some more using his wife as proxy. I haven't responded to her. They keep coming.

And then I received a bill from a hospital with my abuser's name on it and my address. She has evidently contacted these places and told them to send the bills to me. I called the hospital while in a panic attack - my heart raced so much I could barely breathe. They were really nice to me and they took care of changing the address back. They won't be bothering me again. Then the helicopter service sent me a bill as well. Another call, another panic attack. They understood as well. I told them everything. I don't go to the mailbox anymore.


I've worked with runes for over thirty years, but not consistently. The same is true for A Course in Miracles. Since losing our business, I've felt compelled to return to the study of both to find my center again. I had no idea all these other things would happen as well. 

Today, I pulled Nauthiz, Fehu, and Ehwaz in a three rune spread. A three rune spread is useful when needing insight on Issue, Action and Outcome. Anymore, that's a daily event for me...

Nauthiz refers to need or necessity. It's the struggle to discern need from desire and the conflict that results when we choose wrongly. The Course would suggest that it's the difference between the ego and our focus on God or source energy. It's living along the horizontal plane instead of the vertical. The Course says that if something isn't of God, it's not real. So in light of the Course, Nauthiz refers to where my focus should now be..away from events caused by man and on the understand that:

Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.

Fehu, as the action, represents the collective, or in the case of the Course, the sonship. The sonship refers to mankind. Fehu's energy moves us from the pressure to remain with the expectations of the whole to individuality. Fehu also refers to wealth. But wealth doesn't always mean money. Sometimes, as in my case, it refers to something more metaphorical. Abundance can also mean what we give to others. The Course continually brings us back to extension of love and unity as a means of atonement..of bringing the sonship to wholeness, again, living along the vertical rather than the horizontal plane. Fehu also talks about debt or baggage. What do we owe each other as we remember each of us is holy, and an essential part of the sonship? Removing the veil of perception is required so that the individuality Fehu speaks of doesn't make us forget our responsibility to the sonship. If anything, it reinforces that responsibility by illustrating that true freedom and wealth is found in unity with others.

Ehwaz, the outcome, refers to trust and partnership. It's the ultimate outcome of the struggle represented by Fehu. Mastering our reactionary emotions and behavior, and uniting with others is key to a positive outcome. It's also key to our survival, according to the Course. It's understanding that if it's not of God, it's not real, and we can all move past the hurt and the pain and bring about the atonement. We do this by seeing everyone as holy and without error. It involves not judging others, for to do that is to judge ourselves.
 
This runecasting is significant particularly when considering what's happening throughout the world today. It essentially follows the three lines above. Nauthiz becomes..nothing real can be threatened..Fehu becomes..nothing unreal exists..and Ehwaz becomes..herein lies the peace of God. We must understand that the reality is we're all one family. As such, we need each other. As we begin to see this truth as fundamental, the need for separation will will end and compassion will be a given.

And as for me.. my struggle is to see that the past doesn't need to control my present. And that the only person who defines me is me. I'm stronger than I ever believed I could be, because I'm still here. I choose how I define myself. No one else. I survived. And that's everything.


Excerpts from A Course In Miracles, Combined Volume. Foundation For Inner Peace. 2007